Marti’s eyes sparkle with tears when I take the very last bite. And …fuck me, she was right. This feeling I have. It’s more than cathartic. It’s everything.
Chapter Twenty-four
Martina
There was a shift in Dallas yesterday. With each memory of DJ that he shared, he seemed a little lighter. With every bite of cake, he looked more at peace. It was a huge risk I took. It could have easily backfired and become a disaster. He could have totally refused and spent the night chopping wood. But sometimes you have to take big risks for the people you…love?
I draw in a sharp breath. I’ve only known him for six days. I barely know anything about him. Is it possible to fall in love that quickly? I’ve read it in books. Seen it in movies. But that insta-love is usually something that goes both ways. Whatever this is, it’s definitely one-sided. But it’s also incredibly intense. I’m experiencing feelings I’ve never had before. Sure, Charles and I were in love. But it was a slow love, the kind that develops through years of friendship. It wasn’t the punch-you-in-the-chest, hit-by-a-ton-of-bricks kind of love, it was more like waking up one day and realizing it was more than just friendship. Like, yeah, of course we’re in love, haven’t we always been?
Or maybe it was everyone and their dog telling us we belonged together.
This, though, is different. It’s like one day I was this part-time single mom making a half-decent living branding people’s websites, not even thinking about my next orgasm, and the next thing I know, I’m falling for the reclusive mountain man who literally rescued me from the grips of death.
That’s got to be it. Dallas rescued me. I’m the patient who falls for her doctor. The princess who falls for the white knight.The horny single mom who falls for the first guy to bed her in years.
“Hey, there. Everything okay?”
Dallas’s voice startles me back from wherever I’d gone. He’s wondering why I stopped reading.
Yes, it’s the middle of the day. But it’s cold, and there isn’t much to do, so we’re sitting in bed, blankets tucked around us, Bex at my feet, and I’m reading the book aloud. And somehow, over the course of the hour, his head ended up in my lap.
I look down. “Sorry.”
“Where’d you go?”
“I… honestly, I was thinking about Charles.”
Okay,honestly, I was thinking aboutyouand how different my heart feels when I’m around you compared to how it felt being with him.Honestly, I’m sitting here trying to talk myself out of falling for a guy who’s totally and emotionally unavailable.Honestly, I’m secretly hoping that the weather keeps me here just a little bit longer, because I’m not ready to leave this fantasy.
“Tell me about him.”
His request surprises me. He’s never asked me any personal questions. Maybe after yesterday and the sharing he did about DJ, he feels comfortable asking.
“We met in middle school gym class shortly after my dad died and Asher and I moved to a new school district. His parents had just relocated from Indiana. I was the awkward girl in glasses with no athletic ability whatsoever.”
He narrows his eyes. “Are we talking nerdy coke-bottle glasses or sexy librarian glasses?”
When I laugh, his head bounces up and down on my lap. “I was twelve, believe me, there was nothing sexy about me.”
“Mmm,” he mumbles.
Somehow, that makes me smile.
“Charles was the brainy math geek who had zero idea he was hotter than the entire starting lineup of the baseball team. Being the new kids, it was natural for us to gravitate together. Especially since we were on the same bus route, albeit he was dropped at the upper-middle-class neighborhood a mile away from my apartment complex.”
With the book at my side, and nothing to do with my hands, I find one gravitating to his hair. My fingers drift through his locks, lightly massaging his scalp.
“Was he your first boyfriend?” he asks.
“First and only.”
His brow wrinkles. “Only?”
I nod. His eyes bore into mine, searching them for the answer to his unspoken question.
Yes, Dallas, I answer with my mind.You’re the only other man I’ve slept with.
I expect him to be a little more surprised than he is. I am twenty-four after all. And single. His lack of surprise has me wondering if he too had a ‘first and only.’