Page 126 of Loud Unspoken Memories

She shrugs. “Every parent took turns reading out loud to the class. It’s been a long time since Charlie’s been read to by a man. That has to be it.”

“Ready!” Charlie shouts from down the hall.

“On my way, buddy.”

I smile at Marti, feeling a sense of pride that he askedmeto do the honors.

Marti helps him brush his teeth as I peruse his collection of books. Bex has already picked out his spot on the end of Charlie’s bed, as I imagine he does every night he sleeps here. My heart swells a bit knowing that I’m now a part of the nighttime ritual. It’s something I always looked forward to with DJ—the day we’d be able to snuggle in bed and I’d read to him until he fell asleep. It’s not anything I ever dreamed I’d do after losing him.

When Charlie races out of the bathroom and jumps onto the bed, a huge smile crosses my face. The vision I had may haveinvolved different people, a different house, and no dog, but it’s happening all the same.

And, not for the first time, I reflect back on what Allie once told me about Marti and I being perfect for each other because we each had voids that needed filling.

Unsure of when my little sister became smarter than me, I’m more than happy to accept the fact that she is.

I sit on the edge of the bed with an armful of books. “Which one will it be?”

He pulls one from the middle.Are You My Mother?

An odd choice, considering I’m the one reading to him. But I never claimed to know the inner workings of a child’s brain.

I sit next to him, shoes off, legs outstretched on his bed. He lays his head on my arm, and I take it as a cue that I should wrap it around him. He tucks in close. I shut my eyes for a moment and think of DJ.This one’s for you, bud.

Marti stands in the doorway, watching as I read the book, her face illuminated with a glow of happiness.

When I’m done reading, I close the book and set it down, wondering if he’s going to ask me to read another as I imagine kids do.

“Are you Bex’s daddy?” Charlie asks, looking up at me.

Interesting question. “I suppose I am.”

He looks over at Marti. “Are you Bex’s mommy?”

“I guess I’m the closest thing to it,” she says. “So, yes.”

Charlie glances between the two of us and settles his gaze back on me. “If you’re his daddy and Mommy is his mommy, does that make youmydaddy?”

My heart lodges square in the middle of my throat. I scramble for something to say because Marti seems as stunned as I am.

“You still have a dad, Charlie. He may not be with us anymore, but he’ll always be your dad.”

His little hazel eyes study me. “Scarlett has two mommies. And if mommies and daddies can have more than one kid, why can’t kids have more than one mommy or daddy?”

I poke the tip of his nose. “You’re pretty smart for an almost four-year-old.”

He beams with pride even though I never gave him an answer. And he doesn’t ask again. He simply picks up the same book we just read and hands it to me. I happily oblige his request, the book now having so much more meaning to me than it did a minute ago.

~ ~ ~

Marti lays her head on my chest as soon as I crawl into bed next to her.

I never did have to leave tonight and do the same dance we’ve done for so many other nights. Because tonight, I was the one putting Charlie to bed.

I’m still reeling from the experience.

I squeeze her shoulder. “I don’t ever intend to take Charles’s place. That wouldn’t be fair to him. But I’m telling you right now, Marti, I’m ready to step up and be the man Charlie needs.”

A warm tear falls onto my chest. “I know you are. And I think he’s ready too.”

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