Page 13 of Loud Unspoken Memories

After a long moment of silence, she blows a breath into the phone. “Everyone is asking me all kinds of questions about the funeral arrangements. Marti, I have no idea what to do.”

“Are you asking my advice?”

“Yes. Please. You knew him better than anyone.”

There is no jealousy in her voice when she says it. She knew our history. She also knew Charles loved her way more than he ever loved me—in the romantic sense anyway.

“He wouldn’t want a funeral at all, Anita. Or a gravesite where people feel obligated to visit. He wanted to be cremated. And he wanted a party to celebrate his life rather than a reception to mourn his death.”

“That’s what we’ll do then. Will you help me plan it?”

“Of course. Anything you need.”

“Marti?”

I can tell by her tone that what she’s going to say next is monumental. “Yeah?”

“I’m going to move back here. There’s nothing for me in Florida now. I mean, I’ll miss Charlie, but I have to be around family, you know?”

Suddenly, it hits me like a ton of bricks. I’m not sure why the thought hadn’t occurred to me before. I’m going to be a full-time mom.

Charles and I were co-parenting. Charlie lived half the time with him. I’ve always been a part-time parent. We separated before Charlie was born. From the moment he arrived, we split custody fifty-fifty. It was the right thing to do. Charlie has been loved beyond belief and has thrived being raised this way.

But now—oh my gosh—he’s going to be with me one hundred percent of the time.

I love my son, and I’m happy he’ll be with me, but it’s going to be a huge adjustment for both of us. How am I going to tell him?

“It’s the right decision,” I tell her. “You need to be around family. And you’ll always be welcome to visit.”

“Are you ready to talk to Charlie?”

“Yes. So he knows nothing? Where does he think Charles is?”

“I’m not sure. We just change the subject or redirect his attention when he asks.”

“Okay. Put him on.”

“It’s Mommy,” I hear Anita say.

When I hear Charlie’s happy squeal, my heart clenches. Is his world about to be destroyed, or is he young enough to adapt and recover without long term damage?

“Mommy!”

“Hey, buddy. Miss me?”

“Miss you lots and lots. Gwammy Jane has a pool. But it’s too cold. And Nita’s sister has a dog. I want a dog.”

Oh, the mind of a three-year-old.“How are you, Charlie? Are you being a good boy for Nita?”

“Yes. The dog is called Joe. Isn’t that a funny name? Mommy, where is Daddy?”

Oh, boy. “Did you see all the snow outside? It’s why Mommy didn’t get there yesterday. Lots of people are having a hard time getting where they need to be because of the snow.”

“It’s pwetty,” he says. “Will you make snowballs with me?”

“Yeah, buddy, we can make snowballs. I’m going to see you very soon, okay?”

“Okay, bye.”

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