Page 98 of Loud Unspoken Memories

“Until I have a reason to move, yeah.”

“What would that reason be?”

“The perfect man I suppose.”

I laugh. “You’ll be living here until the day you die, little sister. You should know. It’s what you thought about Jason. The two of you were together for years and then one day you decided on a whim to take that internship in Australia, and then it was just over.”

She gulps, getting that sullen look on her face anytime anyone mentions her ex. Then she shores herself up with a giant breath.

“The perfect manisout there,” she says. “Anyway, how can you be so cynical?Youwere the perfect man yourself once upon a time. You could be again if you’d just let it happen.”

I shove the backpack at her. “I’m not talking about this.”

“Well, you should. Because Marti is perfect for you. And you for her. I know you have feelings. She’s a single mom. Charlieneeds a father figure. You could fill that void. And you have a pretty big fucking void yourself that the two of them could fill.”

“What the fuck, Allie? You think I’m looking to replace my wife and kid?”

“No, of course not. All I’m saying is that it just makes sense. They need you and you need them.”

I narrow my eyes. “Have you been talking to her?”

“Just the one conversation when she answered your phone. I’m very good at reading between the lines.”

“Well, it could never work.”

“How do you know?”

“I just do.”

She sighs loudly. “Dallas, if you don’t even try, you may never forgive yourself.”

“He almost died in my fucking arms, Al.”

She looks confused. “DJ?”

“Charlie. Her kid. He’s allergic to peanuts and a kid gave him a cookie and there wasn’t an EpiPen because I stupidly didn’t find it in her car after her accident. And… Jesus, his face. His lips. His throat was closing.” A warm tear runs down my cheek. “He almost died in my arms as I ran him to meet the paramedics.”

“Oh my god.” A hand covers her mouth. “But he’s okay?”

“I called the hospital. They wouldn’t tell me anything. But I’m pretty sure he is. The ambulance got to him just in time. He was already breathing normally just a few seconds after they gave him the medicine.” I rub the back of my neck. “But if they’d have been just another minute…” I wipe my nose on my coat sleeve. “I can’t go through that again. I won’t lose anyone else.”

“And you think not being with them is the answer? If a tree falls in the woods and no one hears it… it still falls. What if youhadn’tbeen there? Charlie still would have been exposed to peanuts, but you wouldn’t have rushed him to meet theambulance. He was inyourarms. Do you think you’re somehow keeping them safe by staying away? Because I’d say it’s just the opposite. Especially when it’s written all over your face how you feel about Marti.”

I reach over and open her door, dismissing her with a wave of my hand. “You’re free to go.”

“Fine,” she pouts. “Don’t admit it to me. But do me a favor and at least admit it to yourself.”

She gets Bex from the back and then yells at me through the window, “Party’s at eight at Donovan’s. Be there!”

I give a thumb’s up along with a snarky, defiant sneer. Then I pull out of the long, circular driveway and head out of town, careful to avoid the one street I never plan to drive down again.

Chapter Forty

Martina

After a busy two days of planning, supporting, remembering, and crying, we’re finally on our way back to Florida.

Charlie is secured in his seat, holding Grumpy in one hand, and a juice box in the other. I’m lucky my son likes car trips, because this is going to be a long one. We plan on breaking it into three days, finding parks and playgrounds for him to let off energy along the way.

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