Page 90 of Loud Unspoken Memories

“No. I mean, when I look back on our time together, I think it’s your hair I’ll remember the most. The way it felt when I’d run my fingers through it as I read to you. How it fell around my face when we made love.”

His eyes close briefly. He’s going to miss those things too.

Tell him.

This is your only chance.

“Dallas?”

His shoulders stiffen as he looks at me, his face a veil of uncertainty knowing good and well what I want to say. Shiftingever so slightly on his feet, he lightly scratches his forehead. He’s afraid of the words that sit on the tip of my tongue.

Which is why I don’t say them. “I think I left my bracelet at your cabin. It’s the silver one with my initials on it.”

Chicken.

He heaves a chestful of air, looking both relieved and disappointed. “I’ll look for it when I get back.”

“Um… Dallas?” I say, my heart a pattery mess.

“Mmm?”

My arms twine around him in a bruising embrace, afraid of what my forthcoming words will do to him. But I have to say something. I’ll regret it if I don’t.

“I can’t remember the exact quote, where I read it, or who said it—probably some famous philosopher—but the words stuck with me.” I take a deep breath and blow it out, the cloud of it swirling around us. “Love is the only thing that can be divided endlessly and still not diminish.”

He doesn’t say anything. He just stares at me, his forehead a map of wrinkles. It’s the first time I can’t read his eyes.

“Do you understand what that means?” I grip his shoulders. “It means you can still love them, but you can love others too. You could even love…us. You don’t have to choose. Both can exist, and that doesn’t mean either will be any less.”

“I…” He swallows hard, rips his eyes from mine, and stares at the tree behind me. Is he contemplating the words? Getting ready to run? About to tell me I’ve read him all wrong? “We should probably go back. Your boy is waiting.”

My lungs deflate with defeat. “Okay.” I start to walk away when he surprises me by taking my hand once again. I’m relieved I didn’t run him off. But at the same time, I’m worried I may have ruined what could be our last private moment together.

I didn’t tell him exactly what I wanted to say. But I told him enough. He can read between the lines. He can see it on my face. Feel it in my kiss. Hear it in my voice. I’m hopelessly, stupidly, maybe even recklessly in love with him.

~ ~ ~

I grab my purse and a towel for Charlie. We leave Bex in the room once again and head down to the pool.

I’m not used to indoor pools. There’s no need for them in Florida. This one is massive. The hotel is built around it, and the dome above is a glass roof that offers a view of the tall ceiling beyond. One end of the pool is a kids’ area with water toys and small slides. This is where we set up camp.

After Charlie goes down a slide, he calls for Asher to go in the pool with him.

“Watch me!” he shouts over when he climbs out and jumps back in, right into Asher’s arms. Then he swims to the edge, climbs out again, and sloshes over to Dallas. “Did you see? I hold my bweath and go under.”

“I did see,” Dallas says. “You’re a great swimmer, buddy.”

Buddy. My heart swells.

“Show me how far you can swim. Can you kick your feet?”

At Dallas’s challenge, he races back to the pool, jumps in and demonstrates his capabilities.

Dallas turns to me. “You weren’t kidding when you said he could swim. Impressive.”

“This is nothing. You should see him surf.”

As soon as the words are out of my mouth, I regret them. Dallas retreats into a shell. It wasn’t an invitation, just something that popped out.

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