Page 30 of Loud Unspoken Memories

“I don’t have any condoms,” he says.

“I’m on the pill.”

He doesn’t look convinced. Maybe he’s worried about my sexual past.

I grab his butt cheeks hard. “Dallas, I assure you I’m on the pill. And I’m good. I haven’t even been with anyone since…” I don’t say his name. Because I’m lying here with another man on top of me, and well, now is not the time to think of my dead ex-husband.Sooonot the time.

His gaze lingers on my face in a visual caress before he buries his head into my shoulder. I think he’s going to roll off me, but instead, he pushes inside me. In one thrust, he sinks to the very end of me, complementing me in the very way men and women were made to fit together. He stills. I swallow, tears dancing in the back of my throat at the feeling of having a man inside me again. It feels amazing. Exquisite. So incredibly right.

I lift my hips in encouragement, and he begins moving. Sliding out of me almost completely and then back in. Again and again, teasing me with the threat of pulling out, then thrusting inside so we’re joined together as solidly as two people can be.

Holy crap! If I thoughtkissinghad changed, this is… I can’t even find the words.

It could be this place. The remoteness. The blizzard. My brush with death. All of that could be making this experience unlike any other.

It’s him.

My insides are on fire, a far cry from how they were just a short time ago. My muscles tighten andthat feelingbuilds, starting in my stomach, and spreading down to my thighs.

Dallas’s thrusts come quickly now, as do his breaths. Knowing he’s close to coming bringsmeeven closer. It’s going to happen imminently. It’s starting—a freight train I have no way of controlling. “Oh, God,” I sigh explosively into his shoulder.

He thrusts once, twice, a third time, grunting loudly as both of us erupt in simultaneous pleasure, my hips bucking wildly underneath him as he stills and pulsates inside me.

He collapses down on top of me, sweat from our slick bodies squishing between us.

I don’t know why, but I start laughing. I’ve been such a fool. Why haven’t I been doing this all along? I’ve wasted so much time thinking that whatever man I decided to date had to be a great role model for my son. If I couldn’t confirm they were potential husband material, I’d just be wasting my time. It had me rejecting them at every text, phone call, or coffee date. All this time I could have just been having fun. I’m only twenty-four, after all. As soon as I get back home, I promise not to shut myself off from the dating world.

My jubilant demeanor disappears.Home. Two thousand miles away from where I am now. I close my eyes, the weight of the situation dawning on me. I don’t want to go back into the dating pool. I don’t want texts, calls, coffee dates, or even kisses from other men.

I just wantthis man.

He rolls to the side, opening his eyes and looking at me in the oddest manner. As if I’m a stranger. Or maybe he was put off by my laughing.

For a long moment, he’s quiet, an unreadable mask of emotion clouding his expression. Then he rolls away from me, grabs one of the blankets, and stands up. “I have to get out of here,” he says, his back to me.

Without even bothering to hit the bathroom, he’s dressed and out the door in less than a minute.

I sit up and pull the blankets around me, wondering what just happened.

Bex climbs onto the mattress, sniffing around inquisitively. I ruffle the fur atop his head. “Why are boys so incredibly hard to read?”

He circles the mattress and finds a spot to lie down.

My nose starts running and I swipe a finger under it. When I notice blood, I’m not surprised. The air up here is much drier than I’m used to, even with all this snow. I pinch my nostrils between my fingers and glance around for a tissue. Not seeing any, I get up and pull open the top drawer of the nightstand. My stomach lurches into my throat and I absently release my nose. And then… then droplets of blood splatter down next to a framed photo of Dallas. Only it’s not just a photo of Dallas. It’s a photo of Dallas next to a beautiful woman. A woman with a baby in her arms.

Chapter Fourteen

Dallas

“Fuck!” I scream to the trees. I lean over, hands on my knees. “Fuck, fuck, fuck!”

I’ve been out here for over an hour, slogging through the deep snow, wondering why the hell I did it.

What was I thinking?

I put as much distance between myself and my cabin as I can. It doesn’t seem to matter, though, becauseshe’sstill there. Marti. And I can’t get her face out of my mind. Her cold, wet, lifeless face. And then, her moans, groans, and sexy as fuck noises.

Her soft-as-sin skin. Her shapely, athletic legs. Her breasts. Jesus, her perfectly sized breasts that felt amazing underneath me.

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