Page 12 of Quiet Beautiful Things

She shows the pink-flower-covered pajamas to Maisy, then points to the bathroom. Maisy puts down her cat and disappears with Mom.

I sit on her bed wondering how, in a matter of hours, this became my life.

Allie appears in the doorway. “I’ll babysit anytime you need.” She moves her fingers around into random positions. “Look, I even googled how to signMaisy.”

“Show me?”

She cracks a smile, sits next to me, and teaches me the five letters.

Twenty minutes later, Mom emerges with Maisy, whose hair spirals in wet blonde ringlets that fall to her shoulders.

“She has the most gorgeous hair,” Mom says. “You’ll have to learn how to manage it. You can’t just brush curly hair or it will frizz.”

“I think I have more important things to learn than how to do her hair.”

Allie scoffs. “Blake, you have to learn about her hair. Do not let her walk around with the rat’s nest she arrived with. Promise me. She’s so darn cute.”

“Fine, fine. Geez. I’ll add that to the five hundred other things I have to learn.”

Maisy yawns and Mom hands me a picture book. “Put your daughter to bed, Blake. Then come have a drink with us. You’ve earned it.”

I take the book, show it to Maisy, then point to the bed. She crawls up onto it, pulls her cat close and gets under the covers. She gets that she’s sleeping here. Thank goodness for small favors.

Not knowing what to do, I simply read her the book as if she can hear. I point to the pictures. I lean down and make funny faces. She doesn’t show much emotion. Maybe she thinks I’m crazy. Maybe she misses her mom. Maybe she has no idea who I am and what’s happening to her.

She falls asleep after the second read through. I start to tiptoe out of the room and then shake my head at myself. I turn off the light in her room, but leave on the hall light, remembering how I was scared of the dark as a kid.

I have that much-needed drink with Mom, Dad, Lucas, and Allie. All of us are in disbelief. None of us knows what the morning will bring. I’ve never been more scared in my life. And that includes the time Dallas and I got stuck upside down on a roller coaster a hundred feet high and had to wait nearly an hour to be rescued and lowered to the ground by firemen.

The four of them are getting ready to leave after I refused Mom’s tenth offer to stay the night.

Dad comes into the hallway just as I’m pulling the mattress from my futon near Maisy’s bedroom door.

“What are you doing?” he asks.

“I’m sleeping here. What if she wakes up, gets scared, and wanders out of the house?”

Dad smiles and puts a hand on my shoulder. “Your mom and I raised you right. And I’ve never been more proud.” Other than when Dallas’s family died, I’ve never seen my father cry. But right now, tears coat his lower lashes. “You’re already a great father, son.”

He turns to leave as I absorb his words. I’m a father. I’mherfather.

Jesus.

Settling in, I become very aware of just how quiet the house is. Almost eerily so. I lean back and recline on the futon mattress. Is this what it’s like for Maisy all the time?

I hear the squeaking of a neighbor’s garage door. A dog barking in the distance. The sound my feet make when I move them. No—I fear it’s not what it’s like for her at all. And I wonder, despite what Dad seems to think, if I’m capable of being any kind of father at all.

Chapter Five

Blake

Profoundly deaf.

The words roll around in my head as I watch Maisy across the living room.

Profoundly deaf.

She scribbles away with her crayons as I try to process what this will mean for her.

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