Page 110 of Quiet Beautiful Things

His chest bounces with laughter. “Well, I have to buy the house now.”

I laugh too, feeling vibrations in my throat that let me know it’s audible.

He stares at me. He likes when I make noise. I sigh and turn to look out the window, but he tugs me back against him and cuddles me in the middle of this huge empty house.

His arms snake around me and he signs in front of my face, “One thing missing here.”

I turn and face him, motioning at our surroundings. “This house has everything,” I sign. “What else could you need?”

“You,” he signs silently, pointing a finger between my breasts.

My eyebrows collide above the center of my nose.

“You’re what’s missing,” he says. “Live here with me. With us.”

My heart pumps uncontrollably, wondering if I read his lips correctly. “Sign it,” I request.

“You live here,” he signs as my heart stops beating altogether at his suggestion.

He looks nervous now. More nervous than I’ve ever seen him. I watch his Adam’s apple bob as he swallows. Then, without moving his lips, he points to himself, crosses his arms over his heart, then points to me.

I blink over and over, because I’m sure this isn’t happening.

When I don’t move, because I’m literally frozen, he does it again, this time using words along with signs. “I love you, Ellie.”

My heart soars and breaks at the very same time.

Finally, I move, reaching for my clothes and gathering them against me as if they will somehow protect me from his words.

I dress quickly. He doesn’t. He just watches and waits. He waits for me to say it back. But I can’t.

I want to.

But I can’t.

All I can do is turn and stare into the back yard knowing this is the inevitable moment I’ve dreaded. I just didn’t know it would come with a declaration of love. One that has knocked the wind out of me. But I knew this moment would happen sooner or later. A part of me, okayallof me, hoped it would be later. Much later.

I look back at him and shake my head sadly, my eyes lying to him as much as my thoughts are lying to me.

Chapter Thirty-nine

Blake

She just stands there, looking lost. The shake of her head scares the hell out of me. I jump up and put on my clothes. There’s so much I have to say to her, but I just don’t know all the signs and I can’t risk her misreading my lips.

Me: Dallas lost his family. And now Lucas screwed up his life. It made me realize everything I want is right in front of me. You are what I want. You and Maisy. I want us to be a family. I know it’s only been months and we haven’t talked about a future together. That’s my fault. I don’t know how to do this. This is new territory for me. I don’t even know if you love me. But I think you do.

As she reads it, her breathing accelerates. Fuck, I wish I could know what’s going on inside her head right now.

Ellie: I thought… Blake, I thought this was a fling. With your past, and the way we hide it, how could it be anything else?

“What? No!”

Guilt pierces my soul knowing all along she was thinking this was just friends hooking up. My heart clambers in my throat as I type quickly to explain.

Me: El, my God, I knew from the first day we met that this would be different. That YOU would be different. I was sure you felt it too.Jesus, you thought I was going to use and discard you?

Ellie: You don’t even know much about me.

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