Page 72 of Be My Reason

We stayed up late watching horror movies in the buff, eating anything we could find off each other’s bodies—which pretty much consisted of chocolate and peanut butter. We became a messy, sticky, Reese’s cup, but all the cleanup was worth the three orgasms he gave me.

I watch him as he sleeps.His breathing is deep and regular. His hair is spectacularly messy, especially since we went to bed wet from our late-night shower. How this man is able to look incredible twenty-four hours a day is beyond reason. I belatedly notice that he hasn’t shaved in at least a few days. I know he’s done this just for me. He knows I think he looks sexy this way.

My phone chirps out in his living room and I’m careful to untangle myself without waking him. Iquietly throw on Nate’s shirt from yesterday and take a second to smell the collar, and then I pad out to check my phone.

It’s a text from Ryan. They are having trouble with theespresso machine again and nobody seems to be able to fix it except me. I call Ryan, hoping to quickly walk them through it so I can get back and enjoy some precious lazy time with Nate, but they can’t seem to explain to me the state the machine is in.

I exhale in frustration and tell them to hang up and Skype me so that I can see what they are doing.I put the phone down and grab my laptop off the floor where all of my stuff landed when we finally got back down to the car late last night. On the way back to the living room, I shut the door to Nate’s room so that we don’t wake him.

It doesn’t take much time to walk them through the repair now that I can see what they are doing. Ten minutes later, it is working again and I hear the collective cheers from some customers. Ryan carries the laptop into the kitchen and sets in on the counter as we say goodbye.

“See you tomorrow night at the gym?” I ask.

“Absolutely, Lyn.” He smiles at me. “You’re the best and you know I love you, right?”

I laugh. “You, too,” I respond and shut the lid to my computer.

Then I jump off the sofa when I hear something shatter behind me. I look over and see that Nate has thrown something onto theglass sofa table, shattering it completely. My eye catches a baseball rolling away, finally coming to a stop when it meets the baseboard.

“W-what happened?” I ask him in horror. “Why did you do that?”

His eyes fill with rage and his fists ball up.The only other time I’ve seen him like this is when that guy in the bar tried to hit on me. “Why do you think I did that,Lyn?”

It’s not lost on me that he uses my nickname.

“You’re meeting him at the gym tomorrow? Right after you leave me?” he yells. “You’re the best, Lyn . . . I love you, Lyn,” he quotes Ryan’s words back to me. He paces around the back of the couch not even caring that his bare feet walk right over some broken glass. “Are you fucking him?”

My jaw drops open and my eyes grow wide. I can’t even believe he just asked me that, after the incredible night we shared; after the declarations of love and whispers of forever in the early hours of the dawn.

“No, of course not!”I shout at him. “Nate, I don’t know what you heard, but Ryan called me from the shop, I had to help them fix the espresso machine again. There is nothing going on between us.” I move to get up and go to him.

“No!”He points at me keeping me from moving. “Don’t touch me. I know what you’re doing. Don’t think I haven’t noticed that every time we talk about him, you distract me so that you don’t have to fess up.”

“Fess up?” I shake my head. “Nate, there is nothing toconfess. Ryan is my friend and my partner. That’s all.”

“I’ll bet he hasn’t even signed a new contract yet, has he?”He shakes his head in anger.

“No, but—”

“I didn’t think so,” he interrupts. “What about the gym, and theI love you?” He closes his eyes on the words. “That doesn’t sound like he’s your friend. It sounds like he is your friend with goddamn benefits.”

“Nate, that’s not the way it is.” I sigh. “You know me. I love you. I think that us being apart is causing you to have insecurities based on your past relationships,” I try to reason.

“Do you deny that you use sex to deflect my questions about him?” He looks me hard in the eyes.

“It’s not like that, Nate,” I plead with him. “I would just rather make love with you than waste precious moments fighting about him. Especially when there is nothing to fight about.”

He is pacing around the apartment, his hands frantically running through his hair. “I trusted you, Brooklyn. How could you do this to me?”

I throw my hands up in defeat. “I haven’tdoneanything to you, Nate!” I huff.

His eyes cloud over and he has a wild look about him. “I can’t believe this is happening again. I knew it wouldn’t last. Nothing good ever does. You were right. We never should have done this.” He reaches his left hand up and blindly rubs his tattoo over and over.

“Happening again?” I ask him. “What do you mean by that?” I rack my brain, watching the rhythmic motion of his hand across his bicep.Then it dawns on me. “You’re not saying I’m likethemare you? Claudia and your mom?”

“If the shoe fits,” he says through clenched teeth. I don’t think I’ve ever seen his eyes look so dark and distant.

“Nate, please calm down, you are scaring me. There is nothing going on.” I pick up his phone and walk it over to him. “Call Ryan, he’ll tell you.”

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