Page 4 of Be My Reason

He thankfully interrupts mysilent freak out. “I mean, if you were thinking of doing the same thing, that is.”

“Um, Nate. . .” I think carefully about how to ask him this. “If we do this, does it mean, uh . . .” I’m so flustered. “Are we, um—”

“Brooklyn,” he cuts me off, “will you go out with me?Like—walk you to class, eat lunch with you and drive you home—out with me?” He grins over at me and I’m still so fully aware of where he has kept my hand during this entire conversation. I’m even more aware of what is lurking underneath it.

If I wasn’t completely sure a minute ago, I am now.This boy already owns my heart. He might as well own my body, too. “Yes, I would like that,” I say. That makes him smile a smile I’ve never seen before—one that reaches his eyes. I thought I knew all of them. This one, I think, is reserved just for me.

He moves my hand up to the buttons on his jeans and the intention is clear, he wants me to unbutton them.I do so with trembling fingers but then I’m not sure what should happen next.

Do I reach inside and grab him? Does he take off his pants? How am I supposed to touch him?

He saves me from my dilemma by taking my hands in his, and then using his mouth he trails kisses from my lips down to my neck. Then he follows a path along my jaw up to my ear making me shiver and producing goose bumps up and down my arms. I feel his smile against my skin before he gently sucks on a place behind my ear that has me practically panting. He pulls back, breathing heavily, locks his eyes with mine and puts a hand on my knee, sliding it up my leg and under my skirt, all the way up to the apex of my thighs. I think I am about to combust and, then, because I know he is silently asking my permission, I let out the breath I was holding and nod my head slightly.

I can already feel the wetness in my panties and when he touches me there I let out a moan.“Shit, Brooklyn,” he murmurs. “If you keep doing that this will be over before we get started.”

Really?Note to self: throaty noises drive Nate wild.

He moves my panties aside and slips a finger inside me. I’m so wet now that it just glides in and out easily.He puts a second finger in and I start to feel a burning down deep inside. He again trails feather-like kisses up my neck and around my ears, blowing on the places he just kissed. His hot breath, heavy breathing and soft kisses are only sending me higher and higher. Then he starts circling his thumb around my sensitive nub while keeping up the movement with his fingers still inside me. Soon my thighs tighten and my insides start to quiver.

Oh my God, I’m going to come. “Oh, Nate. Oh, God,” I say breathlessly.

“Oh baby, that’s it,” he whispers. Hearing his voice along with the endearment he uses pushes me over the edge and I’m floating then falling as rapid waves are slithering down my body and I dig my nails into Nate’s arm. As I come down from the high, my throat is dry, my lip aches from biting it and even my fingers are tingling.

Before I fully enter reality again, he has pulled down his jeans past his thighs and is pulling me on top of him so that I’m facing him, straddling him and sitting on his knees. He stops to get something from his wallet. It’s a condom.Oh my God, I completely forgot. What if—

“Brooklyn, are you sure about this?”He pulls me from the thought. “I’ll stop right now if this isn’t what you want.” He looks up at me and I know for certain that he would stop if I asked. I also know for certain that I don’t want him to.

“No, Nate.Please don’t stop. I’m ready,” I beg.

With my panties still pushed to the side, he grabs my hips and oh, so slowly, eases me down onto him. “Jesus, Brooklyn! That feels . . .” His eyes close and his breathing speeds up as he fills me like nothing and no one ever has before.

“Oh, God,” I hear myself mutter as I get used to this foreign feeling of being stretched from the inside.It doesn’t hurt like I thought it would, a little uncomfortable maybe, but it isn’t painful. He starts to move and I feel the fullness and the friction and think that, yes, I could get used to this.

He opens his eyes and watches me as he moves faster and faster.In the moonlight, I can see his mouth open, his eyes glaze over, and his brows scrunch together. Then he shuts his eyes tight and shouts, “Brooke . . . aaaah!” He grabs my hips, holding me still as he finds his release.

We stay together for just a minute and then he helps me climb off him.I wrinkle my nose and wince as we come apart.

“Are you okay? Was that okay?” he asks with concern.

“Yes, I’m okay,” I say shyly, not really knowing how to act or what to do at this moment. I pull my skirt down and adjust my panties but it’s too dark to see anything clearly.Oh, please, gods of recently deflowered virgins, let there not be blood all over my skirt.

He gets rid of the condom and fixes his jeans then reaches over to grab my hand.We sit like this for a little while listening to Nickelback sing ‘Someday’. I wonder if the radio has been on this entire time.

Headlights blind me as a car pulls into the lot.The incredible timing of this is not lost on me. I check my watch and see that I’ve got only twenty minutes until curfew. “I need to be home by eleven,” I remind him.

“Right.We better get going then.” He leans over, still holding my hand and places a chaste kiss on my lips before briefly letting go of my hand to start the engine and back out of the lot. He turns the truck around and drives out of the one place that I will remember for as long as I walk this Earth.

We make the short drive to my house in comfortable silence whileholding hands and listening to the radio. I smile when he turns into my neighborhood and asks, “Which way?” Then he shrugs because he knows that I know that he knows what neighborhood I live in and that is pretty cool. I direct him to my house and when he pulls up to the curb the first thing I notice is Emma’s face peeking out from behind the curtain of her second floor window. I roll my eyes, but smile, knowing I’m in for the Spanish Inquisition.

Nate turns off the engine. “Wait here,” he says. He quickly hops out and runs around the front of the truck over to my door and opens it.

Sigh. I could totally get used to this. I get out and he walks me up to the door.

“I have to spend the entire day helping my dad tomorrow, but can I meet you at your locker Monday before school?”he asks me.

Hmm, let me think . . . YES, YES, YES!

“Okay, sure.”

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