Page 38 of Be My Reason

“Thanks, Brooklyn.You look lovely today.” It is the same thing he has said every morning this week. This is the same dance we do every day. He turns to walk out the front door, past the dozen or so eyes that are looking at him like a piece of meat and they are the lionesses waiting to attack.

Today, however, before I can even think twice and keep the words from leaping out of my mouth, I say, “Nate, why don’t you just come through and use the back entrance?”He stops in his tracks. I can see the reflection of his huge smile in the window. He turns and walks past the women again, then past the counter and into the back room.

Ha!I think to myself as the lionesses stare at me in disbelief.

~ ~ ~

After work, I’m getting ready for my run. I grab a bottle of water from the kitchen. As I’m putting the bottle to my lips, I see that he has unpacked the last of his boxes and his rather large movie collection spans the shelves of the entertainment center.

I browse through his collection.I knew we shared an interest in movies; it is one of the things we talked about at the party all those years ago. I think he must have every slasher movie ever made. I’m not sure he will be able to get through all of these in a few months. I absentmindedly pick up my favorite, ‘Scream’—the first one—it never gets old.

I hear his key in the doorso I quickly put down the DVD and go to the kitchen to finish my water. He watches me without saying a word as I pass him by on my way out. Yes, I’m wearing my favorite red running shorts. The ones that make my butt look really nice. I think it is the extra spandex.

Later, after my shower, I head to the kitchen and make a sandwich to take downstairs when I hear the beginning lines of my favorite movie. I stand in the doorway of the kitchen, eyes glued to the TV, getting lost in the show.

“You know, I won’t bite if youcome sit on the couch,” he says, patting the spot next to him. I turn away, finish making my dinner and then make my way out—to the other end of the couch. It is my favorite movie, after all.

We both laugh at the same parts.The parts that make most people jump, scream and hide their eyes. But we laugh. And then we look at each other out of the corners of our eyes and smile, because we know we are idiots.

I’ve never found another person who can watch aslasher movie like it is a comedy. Until now. Michael and I used to watch them, but he would squeeze my leg whenever he got scared, even though he would never admit he was spooked. He even asked me to leave the kitchen light on one night. God, it was funny.

I giggle out loud.But not at the movie, so Nate asks, “What’s so funny?”

“Nothing.I was just remembering something.” And it dawns on me. I just had a happy memory of Michael. I think I smiled the whole rest of the movie.

Thefollowing few nights we do more of the same. ‘Freddy vs. Jason’ and then ‘Halloween H20’. We have established a routine. We don’t talk about it, we just do it. I come in from my run, shower, fix myself something to eat and then we sit down to watch whatever movie he has picked out. Last night he even had something made for dinner before I came back. I think he did it on purpose, but he casually mentioned that he made too much for him to eat so I could finish it if I wanted to.

Nate never goes out.He did go to his sister’s one night for dinner but other than that, it is only work or home for him. I, on the other hand, am trying to jump-start my social life sans Emma, so I went out tonight for a Girls’ Night with Kaitlyn and Derek. Technically, I can still call it that since we could all drool over cute guys, right?

I arrive back home after midnight to find Nate asleep on the couch. I can’t draw my eyes away from him.He looks so peaceful, childlike even. His hair is even more messy than usual because his arm is tossed over his head.

Oh, there is the tattoo, in full-blown glory for me to see. I shouldn’t look. He says it is nobody’s business. I tiptoe my way over to the backside of the couch, eyeing him the whole way. I look at his chest to make sure his breathing is still steady and deep. Why do I feel like a cat burglar?

When I’m a few feet away, I can make out the tattoo clearly and my breath hitches.I’ve never seen anything like it. Well, not that I’m a tattoo connoisseur or anything, but this one is outright morbid. On the underside of his arm is the black outline of a heart with a knife sticking out of it. The only color on the entire tattoo is the drops of red blood coming from the knife. And when I say heart, I mean the anatomical representation of an actual heart—with valves and vessels. It’s awful. I mean, it is a great work of art, but it’s awful.

There are words over it, the words that you can also see wrapping around the front of his arm.They go all the way around and over the heart. They are in script and of course, since they are in French, I have no idea what they say. ‘Mourir Pour’ is the part of the phrase that I etch into my memory so that I can Google it later.

“Like what you see?”I look at his face and see that he is grinning at me.

How long have I been standing here staring at his tattoo?I search my mind for an excuse to be so close to him. I grab the pillow off the chair to my right and say, “Um . . . you looked uncomfortable so I thought you might want this.” I throw it at him and then I walk out of the room. Only to hear his muffled laughter behind me.

In my room, I open my laptop and Google the French to English translation of the few words I saw on his tattoo.

‘To die for.’

Chapter Fourteen

I jerk awake and it takes a minute to remember where I am. I’m hearing music from ‘The Shining’ play over and over as the DVD is stuck on the menuscreen. I look at the clock and see it is after eleven. The events of the day flash through my mind and I remember how exhausted I was when I came up from my monthly inventory.

Oh, we fell asleepon the couch. Together. My head is on his shoulder and my hand is on his leg.Crap. I jump over on the couch about two feet and that wakes Nate up. He has a smirk on his face.

“Okay, so exactly how long was I sleeping like that?” I feel a blush creep up my face.

“Not long,” he says. “I couldn’t bear to push you off me, you smell just like a cupcake.”

“What?” I look at him like he is crazy. “I did shower after work you know.”

“I know.I can smell your shampoo. Flowers?” he asks.

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