Page 22 of Be My Reason

I’m studying again when there is a knock on the door and I hear a muffled, “room service.”I didn’t order anything, but I look at the clock and it is close to dinner time. I open the door and direct the waiter to put whatever it is on the table while I fish around for a tip. When he is gone I look at the tray that is donning a chocolate milkshake and when I lift the silver dome covering the food I see a plate of french fries. There is a note but I don’t have to look at it to see who sent this. Of course I read the note anyway.

Brooklyn, I hope you can eat something tonight. I’m sorry you don’t feel well. Get better soon. Nate.

I am starving. I shouldn’t eat this. Is it like cheating if I eat this? Nobody is here to see if I eat it or not. I could have even ordered it myself. Except that I haven’t eaten this combination since that night in high school. How did he remember? It was one short conversation we had eight years ago. No, it doesn’t mean anything if I eat it. I’m being stupid. It’s food, just eat it.

I pick up afrench fry and dip it into the shake then bring it to my lips. God, this is so good. Why did I go so long without eating this? I finish the entire tray.

I make sure I’m in bed before Emma gets back. I leave her a note to tell her that I’m feeling better and that I can’t wait to get back to Savannah tomorrow.

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On the drive back home, I get the play-by-play of her date lastnight. Apparently Graham has already made plans to come for a visit in a few weeks. She won’t stop smiling and I’m glad that she is so wrapped up in Graham that she doesn’t grill me about my own feelings. I make sure to keep the conversation focused on wedding planning so that she understands that nothing has or will ever change.

I am truly excited to get back and see Michael.He is my life, he is my future. I fall asleep in the car hoping I dream of him and only him.

Chapter Seven

The past few days have been spent trying to get back into the swing of things at the bakery. Now that I know the place will run smoothly and won’t literally burn down in my absence, I can feel comfortable moving forward after graduation to find ways to branch out.

My first night back with Michael was great.Heis great. I got to his apartment before he did and when I used the bathroom, I noticed that he had purchased me my own toothbrush and there it sat on the bathroom counter, still in the packaging. I proceeded to open a drawer in the vanity and place the un-opened toothbrush in the back, behind some other toiletries. I liked the gesture, but being a guy, he just wouldn’t understand the sentimental bond I’ve created by using the one he does. Maybe once we are married, I’ll stop using his.

The next morning when he noticed me still using his toothbrush, he smiled, shook his head and continued on into the shower without saying a word. I think maybe he got the picture.

Today, I’m in the back after the morning rush when my phone chirps. I look at it to see a number that I don’t recognize. I open the text.

Nate:Brooklyn, I hope you are feeling better. It was so nice to see you again. N

If the‘N’ didn’t give it away, the ‘Brooklyn’ did. He is the only person who calls me by my proper name other than my mom.

Damn Emma.She must have given him my number. Why would she do that? So I ask her.

Me:Why did you give Nate my number? He is texting me.

Almost immediately sheresponds.

Emma:Lyn, I swear I didn’t give him your number and I didn’t give it to Graham either.

She had to have given it to him.It’s not associated with the bakery so there is no way he could have gotten it.

Nate:Before you get pissed at Emma, I lifted your number from her phone when you were both in the bathroom. N

At least he is honest, but I’m still not sure I want him texting me.We are not friends and I’m with Michael. I decide not to text him back and I leave my phone in the office when I go out front.

I try my hardest not to go back to the office to check my phone.It’s not like Iwantto get more texts from him, but it is compelling all the same. Like when you see a car accident. You know it can’t be good and you don’t want to look. You tell yourself that when you pass it, you will just keep going and not turn your head like every other rubbernecker out there. But when it comes right down to it, you can’t not look. You have to look. You have to look or it will kill you. So I look.Damn it.

Nate:Brooklyn, I’m sorry if you were uncomfortable at the club. And then again in the rain. But at least admit to yourself that you felt something. I know I wasn’t the only one. N

What does that have anything to do with anything?Even if I did feel something, and that is a big freaking if, I would never do anything about it. He was my first crush, my first love. It’s understandable that I might have some residual feelings. Plus, he’s hot. However, I’m not about to become a Nathan Riley statistic. So I tell him.

Me:I would never dream of becoming another notch in your bedpost, even IF I had feelings for you. Which I don’t. B

I sign my text the same way he signed his.Belatedly, I realize that I used a ‘B’, not an ‘L’.

A few seconds later, he texts me back. Doesn’t he have anything better to do?

Nate:So you’ve told what’s-his-name all about our week together? N.

Okay, now I’m gettingmad.

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