Page 11 of Be My Reason

Well, I hadn’t considered that, but now that she’s brought it up. . .yes.

“Slime ball,” I roll the words over my tongue. “Emma, you have no idea. I saw him a few times earlier in the day when you were in your sessions, but I didn’t see his face so I didn’t know it was him.He was all over these women,differentwomen. He was kissing them and caressing them and disappearing down the hall with them.” I sigh. “It’s like it wasn’t even him. He was never like that in high school. Then again, that was a long time ago. Today he was . . . well he seemed . . . well, like the male you.” I shrug.

“So, maybe it wasn’t really him,but someone who looks a lot like him. His, what do you call it . . . doppelganger? Anyway, what does it matter what he is like or if it was really him? He is a low-down dickhead slime ball who isn’t worth getting upset over.”

I smile weakly at her choice of colorful words. “I know.It’s just that I never expected to see him ever again. Early on, after he left, I thought he might come back, but then after graduation, I kind of gave up hope.” I take another drink. “And, yes, I’m sure it was Nate. When he realized it was me, he turned white as a ghost. He even called my name.” I close my eyes remembering the sound of his voice today after so many years of hearing it only in my head.

“Lyn, maybe we should cancel tonight. We can hang out here, get toasted on Cosmos and order up ‘Thelma and Louise’ on the TV.”

“Are you crazy?And waste an opportunity to seetheEmma Crawford fall all over herself because of a guy? No way. We are going out and I won’t give that bastard another thought.”

“Oh, thank you, thank you,thank you.” She hugs me hard. “I really like Graham. And I’m not talking about just wanting to get in his pants and see how big his dick is. I want to find out about his job and his family and crap like that,” she rambles. “How weird is that?”

“Precisely why we need to go to dinner and see where this thing withhim is going. What time are we supposed to be there?”

She checks her diamond encrusted watch.“About an hour, you good with that?”

~~ ~

Emma scoots to the inside of a booth and I sit down next to her.She gives me a look so I say, “What? I’m not about to sit by Graham’s friend. You two will just have to rub knees under the table or something.”

We order our usualDiet Cokes and talk about some of the interesting design exhibits that I saw earlier today. I tell her about my catering idea and she says she will talk to her dad, who is a corporate banker, about ways to find investors after we get back. She is telling me about her last session of the day on lighting in design when a big smile creeps up her face. “They are here. Do I look okay?” She quickly pats down her stick-straight hair then takes a drink of her soda. The very same soda that a second later spews all over me.

“What the hell, Emma?” I grab my napkin and start to wipe down my shirt as beads ofDiet Coke run onto my jeans. I look up at her and follow her wide eyes over to the door Graham has just walked through and see none other than Nathan Riley trailing in behind him.

He looks at me and pales again, as he did earlier.I’m quite sure the blood has drained from my face as well. How is this happening to me?

“You have got to befreaking kidding me,” Emma says, loudly I might add, staring at him in disbelief as I hit my ankle on the corner of the booth making my quick exit towards the ladies room. Ouch!Damn that hurts.

Emma follows me and I keep myhead down, not making eye contact as I hobble by them on the way to the bathroom. I hear Graham say, “What is going on?”

“Ask your dickhead friend whydon’t you,” Emma huffs as she walks by them.

She ushers me into the ladies room and sticks her head back out the door to say, “Graham, just give us a minute, will you please?” Then she closes the door and grabs onto my arm.“Oh my God, Lyn. Nate Riley is the player that is Graham’s partner? I guess you really did see him earlier. Wow, what are the odds of—”

“Give us a minute?” I interrupt her rambling. “Give us a minute, Emma? What the hell does that mean?I know you don’t expect me to go back out there and actually eat a meal with that snake.” I rub my ankle and try to keep it together, doing only a slightly better job of it than earlier today.

She stares pointedly at me and I can almost see the cogs spinning in her brain.“Lyn, calm down. Think about this for a minute. If you leave now and go off crying back to the hotel, he sees you all weak and broken. But if you hold your head up and go out there and show him what a beautiful strong woman he missed out on, then you win, not him. Be the bigger person.”

Damn it, she has a point.

“Please, Lyn. You can do this. One hour, that’s it.”

She takes her bag and places it on the counter, retrieves some makeup and proceeds to touch-up my splotchy face. “Good as new and gorgeous as ever,” she says a minute later, nodding at me in the mirror.

I take a deep breath and nod back at her. “Okay. I’m doing this for you.Because I love you more than life and I believe you really like this Graham . . . and maybe because I want to show Nate he didn’t break me.”He didn’t break me, did he?

I’m shaking and my throat goes dry as we head back to the table.Grateful beyond words, I see Graham rise from his side of the booth and move over to where Nate is sitting. He looks at me sympathetically and says, “We don’t have to do this tonight if you are uncomfortable.”

Obviously the snake has filled him in.

Emma pokes me in the back urging me to say something. “No it’s okay, we can stay for dinner. It’s fine.” I put on a fake smile and look anywhere but at Nate.

Funny thing about the wordfine, it can mean just about anything, but it almost always means the opposite of fine. You can be sick as a dog but when someone asks how you are you don’t say ‘I’m sick as a dog’, you say ‘I’m fine’, even when what you really mean is that you just prayed to the porcelain god for hours on end and you can’t believe that much vomit can ever come out of one body.

We sit and order more drinks since Emma’s first one is now gloriously displayed down the front of my white blouse. I try to ignore the fact that Nate is staring at me. I fail miserably. I can’t keep looking away all night.I probably look stupid looking everywhere but at him.

Just do it already. I slowly shift my eyes until they meet with his. My heart skips a beat when I take him in. He looks the same, but with more defined features. Those deep blue eyes pop out on his tanned, chiseled face. He has broad shoulders and I can see his biceps bulging out from his too-tight navy blue t-shirt that only brings out more of the blue in his eyes.Man, he’s hot. Subconsciously I had hoped he had peaked in high school and that he ended up with a crooked nose, ears too big for his head and really bad teeth.

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