Page 83 of Engulfing Emma

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“How come you’ve never mentioned going to the top of One World Trade Center?” I ask at the entrance to the Empire State Building. “It’s taller than this one, you know.”

He looks in that direction. “I know. But I figured the Empire State Building wouldn’t evoke as many memories.”

“You’d be right. I’m not sure I could go there. Have you ever?”

“Yeah.”

“Have you been to the memorial?”

“Dozens of times.” He looks at me sideways. “You have too, right?”

“Once,” I say.

“You’ve only been thereonetime?”

I nod sadly. “My mom made me go when it opened back in 2011.”

“Shemadeyou go? You didn’t want to?”

I shake my head.

“Oh, right,” he says. “This is all about you not forgiving your father, isn’t it?”

I shrug.

“Surely you’ve been to his grave.”

I look at the ground. “He doesn’t have a grave. He was buried in the south tower.”

He runs a hand through his hair. “Emma, you need to let this go. He did not leave you on purpose. Maybe if you could accept that, you’d be willing to accept other things in your life.”

“Don’t try and shrink me, Brett. I’m long past that.”

He laughs disingenuously.“Clearlyyou’re past that,” he says sarcastically. He motions to the building. “Are we going to do this or what?”

“Of course. That’s why we’re here.”

“Well, let’s get on with it.”

He’s more than a little irritated at me. I’m just not sure I can pick the reason why. Kicking him out of my bed? Dating other guys? Not forgiving my dad? Maybe it’s a combination of all of them.

At the ticket counter, he pulls out his wallet. I step in front of him. “You are not paying.”

He puts his wallet away without the slightest hesitation. Although I really do want to pay, him not protesting makes me sad. Healwaysprotests.

He looks at the tickets. “Eighty-sixth floor observatory. I’ve always thought that’s the better one. The higher one is encased in glass.”

“Someone once told me there’s not that much difference between fifty floors and a hundred, so I figured this’ll do.”

He smiles. “Listen, Emma. I may not be in a good place right now, but I don’t want that to take away from what you’re doing here. I’m really proud of you.”

I look over at the line for the elevators to the observatory. “Don’t be proud of me quite yet.”

He holds out his elbow for me to take. “Let’s kill this bitch.”

Standing in line gives me too much time to second-guess myself. I almost walk away five times, but each time Brett convinces me to stay. I don’t miss the crazy looks I’m getting from strangers. Neither does Brett.

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