Page 76 of Engulfing Emma

“What I mean is you’ve already gone up in buildings that have thirty to forty floors, and we’re about to go to one with fifty. Once you’ve done those, it should be no big deal.”

She stares me down. “Are you really not scared of anything?”

I don’t tell her that I wasn’t. That after conquering my fear of tall buildings, I wasn’t afraid ofanythinguntil meeting her. But now, my biggest fear is being without her. How, in only a month’s time, have I grown attached to a woman who’s incapable of attachments?

“I’m scared of a lot of things,” I tell her. “Projectile vomiting, gum on the underside of tables, loogies falling on me from above.”

She laughs. “Who knew you were such a germaphobe?”

I nod to the bar next door. “Want to get a drink first?”

“Nope. I need to do this without the help of alcohol.”

“Okay then, let’s do this.” I hold the door for her.

Her steps get slower as we approach the elevator. The doors open, but she moves aside, allowing the people behind us to enter.

“You comin’?” the woman operating the elevator asks.

Emma doesn’t move.

“You go on ahead,” I say. “We’ll catch the next one.”

Emma backs up against the wall. “I’m sorry. I’m being ridiculous. I’ll be okay. We’ll take the next one.”

The second elevator door opens. Emma looks behind us as if to allow others to pass again, but there’s nobody else waiting.

“You going all the way up?” the operator asks. “This one’s the express.”

“Are we going up?” I ask Emma.

She nods but doesn’t move. I take her hand in mine and lead her inside.

“Evenin’,” the man says, pushing the rooftop button before sitting on his chair.

I’ve often wondered why buildings have elevator attendants, let alone those with only one stop. “Good evening.”

The doors close and Emma steps forward in a panic, trying to get them to open again. “No,” she cries softly. “I changed my mind.”

I squeeze her hand harder.

“I’m sorry, miss,” the attendant says, “It’s the express. If you don’t want to get off up top, I can take you back down as soon as we get there.”

Her eyes go wide in terror. “You don’t understand.”

“Emma,” I say, pulling her back into the corner. “It’s going to be all right. I’m not going to let anything happen to you.”

She belts out a painful laugh. “As if you can keep a building from collapsing. Or a plane from … oh, God, why did I do this?”

She starts to shake and her breathing accelerates. I see on the illuminated display that there are thirty floors to go. I’m afraid she’s close to hyperventilating.

“Breathe, Emma. Remember your breathing?”

She doesn’t seem to hear me as she watches the numbers count up.

The attendant appears completely helpless as Emma has a panic attack.

“Excuse us,” I say to him, right before I push Emma against the wall and kiss her.

---