Page 53 of Engulfing Emma

“How long will the whole process take?”

“Probably a month or more. They need someone before they go on tour this fall, and I assume they want a month or so of practice. I’d guess they’ll make a decision by the end of August.”

“When is your first audition?”

“Next Friday. Will you go with me?” Her eyes are full of hope.

I run through my schedule in my head. “I’m not on shift, so yes. I’m really happy for you.”

“I’m not worried about those other ninety-nine singers,” Bonnie says. “You’ll be the best one. I’m sure of it.”

Bria leans over and gives her a kiss on the cheek. “You’re my biggest fan, Bonnie.”

“I think I’m your second biggest,” she says, looking at me.

“Paycakes,” Leo says.

Bonnie starts to get up from the table, but I put a hand on her arm to stop her. “I’m making breakfast today. You enjoy your coffee.”

Bria puts Leo into his highchair and then helps me with the pancakes. “So,” she says quietly, looking at Leo out of the corner of her eye, “heard from Momzilla lately?”

I laugh at her nickname for my ex. “Not since Leo’s birthday.”

She shakes her head. “I can’t believe she’s okay with missing so much.”

“At this point I’m surprised he even knows she’s his mother.”

“The only reason he does is because of you. I’ve seen you show him pictures of her and talk about her like she’s not the bitch who abandoned you both. You’re a saint, big brother.”

“I’m no saint, Bria. I just hope that one day—”

She grabs my arm, almost making me spill the pancake batter. “You’re not still thinking she could come back and be a part of your life, are you?” She whispers so Leo can’t hear. “Tell me you wouldn’t take her back.”

I look over at Leo, saddened that he has to grow up without a mother. I’ve often thought about what I would do if Amanda came back, wanting a second chance. What if she really was suffering from post-partum depression, and that’s what made her pull away from us? Then I think of the two years of hell she put us through. Leo and I are better off without her.

“I wouldn’t take her back. But I do want her to be a part of Leo’s life. She was a good person once. I think she could be a good mother if she put some effort into it.”

“You’re a better man than anyone I know,” she says. “If it were me, I wouldn’t even let her see him.”

I flip the pancakes. “She’s the only mother he’ll ever have.”

“That’s not true,” she says. “If you get married again, he’ll have a new mom. Hey, speaking of that, how’d your date with the hot teacher go?”

“You’re getting way ahead of yourself, Bria. It wasn’t a date.”

“But you wanted it to be.”

“It doesn’t matter. She doesn’t date firefighters.”

She looks at me like what I said was crazy. “Who doesn’t date firefighters?”

“Someone who’s dad was a firefighter.”

“Was?” she asks tentatively.

“She lost him on 9/11.”

Bria backs up and slumps against the counter. “Oh, Brett.”

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