Page 148 of Engulfing Emma

They wheel Jordan down the hall, leaving bloody footprints behind. I shield Becca from the scene, not wanting her to see the massive amount of blood on the hallway floor. “Come on,” I say, walking her in the opposite direction. “We’re going to the hospital.”

~ ~ ~

Becca and I are in the waiting room. She doesn’t want anyone to talk to her. She keeps looking at pictures of their honeymoon on her phone.

There are a dozen people here from work. The whole Taco Tuesday bunch. Our principal. Some of the school counselors.

I rub Becca’s back, recalling how only a few weeks ago, she was doing the same for me.

An hour after we arrive, a doctor comes into the waiting room. “Mrs. Kincaid?”

Becca stands.

He motions to a door. “Can we speak in private?”

My heart sinks. That can’t be good. If Jordan were okay, he’d just tell her right here, right now.

More tears roll down her face. She looks at me, terrified. “I can’t.”

I get up. “I’ll go with you.”

I realize she’s about to get some bad news. I just don’t know how bad. And none of her family is here. None ofhisfamily is here.

We’re escorted into a small private room and asked to sit on a couch. The worst possible words come out of the doctor’s mouth. Words likebrain deathandorgan donation.

The doctor tries to comfort Becca, but she’s hysterical. He calls in a nurse, who gives her a mild sedative. Then he leaves us with organ donation papers.

“I apologize,” he says. “But there is only a small window of time. A decision has to be made soon.”

Shortly after he exits the room, both sets of parents show up, and I have to watch them experience what Becca went through. It’s the most devastating thing I’ve seen since the day my father died.

Becca leaves all decisions to Jordan’s parents. She’s practically a zombie after the sedative kicks in.

“We’re going to take her home to White Plains,” her mom says. “She needs to be with family.”

“Is there anything I can do?” I ask, knowing full well there’s not.

“You’ve done everything you can. Thank you for being here with her.”

I give her my number. “I’ll always be here for her,” I say. “Day or night.”

I find a bathroom and wash the blood off my hands, feeling sick all over again as I watch the water turn pink and swirl down the drain.

Lisa comes in behind me, mascara running down her face. “I can’t believe it. One minute he’s here, they’re happy and married, and now she’s walking out of here a widow. It’s not fair.”

I look at myself in the mirror. “I have to go home. I have to hug my daughter.”

What if Evelyn fell down the stairs? What if my mother did? I make myself crazy thinking of everything that can go wrong in the world.

“Is there anything we can do for Becca?” Lisa asks.

I shake my head. “We can be here to offer her support. But it’s going to take time. Lots and lots of time.”

Maybe even more than nineteen years,I think.

When I arrive home, my mother sees me before Evelyn does. She’s horror-struck when she sees the blood on my clothes. “Lord, what happened to you? You can’t let Evie see you like this. Is that your blood? What happened? Do I need to call the police?” She drags me upstairs.

As soon as she shuts the bedroom door behind us, I break down in her arms, telling her everything that happened. When I finish crying, she takes me into my bathroom. “Get in the shower. I’ll make you something hot.”

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