Page 145 of Engulfing Emma

“Maybe it’s time to put yourself out there, Brett. There’s no better way to get over a love than finding someone new.”

“You meansleepwith someone new.”

“You said it, not me.”

I sit on the couch and lean back against the cushion. “The funny part is I’ve actually thought about it. Guys at the station have a list of women they want to set me up with.”

“You’re not a kid anymore,” she says. “You’re a responsible adult. There’s nothing wrong with having a little fun.”

“Every time I think about taking one of them up on it, I feel guilty.”

“You shouldn’t.”

“I know, but I do. Why is that? She dumped me, but I feel guilty about dating another woman. Hell, I’m pretty sureshe’sout there dating, so why shouldn’t I be?”

Bonnie sits next to me and takes my hand. “Because you are one of those men who loves with your whole heart. I knew that about you when you hired me. What Amanda did was horrible. Inexcusable. But you stuck by her side. You stuck by her side, even when I thought you shouldn’t.”

“Can I tell you something?” I ask.

“Of course.”

“I know it seems impossible, but I think I love Emma more than I loved Amanda. Isn’t that crazy? I’ve only known her for four months and I love her more than the mother of my child.”

“It’s not crazy. But that’s why it hurts so much.” She moves to the kitchen for a bottle of water. “This too shall pass.” She flips off the light, leaving me in darkness, and goes upstairs.

I get up and obsessively look out the window, knowing it’s stupid to do it, but I do it anyway.

I watch all the people pass on the street. Couples. Families. Single people heading out for a late night on the town. People living their lives. Yet here I sit stuck in some limbo I can’t get out of.

Then I see her. Emma appears with a man. They walk up her steps. He looks like a goddamn banker in his tailored suit. She’s being escorted home by Richie Rich.

I stand up and almost yell when she opens the front door, and they both go inside.What the fuck?

Evie’s light is on. She’s still awake for cryin’ out loud. So now Emma is introducing men to her daughter?

I chug the rest of my beer and go to the kitchen for another when my phone pings with a text.

Evie: She’s not taking him upstairs.

Me: What are you talking about?

Evie: Oh, come on. I saw you standing in the window watching my mother. You saw them go inside. I just wanted to tell you she’s not taking him upstairs.

Me: We really shouldn’t be discussing this.

Evie: You don’t want to know what they’re doing right now?

Me: Of course not.

I return to the window. Evie’s in her room, looking at her phone. How pathetic am I? A twelve-year-old is spying for me. I’ve truly hit rock fucking bottom.The fact that I’m thinking that while texting her does not escape my attention.

Me: What are they doing?

Evie: She asked for his jacket. He spilled something on it at dinner, and she’s going to try and get the stain out.

Typical. The oldspill something on your clothes so you have an excuse to take them offtrick. I try to think of anything but what might be going on in her kitchen.

Me: Tell me about Greta. How is she?

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