Page 100 of Engulfing Emma

Water. Him saying that reminds me of the video we watched on our last flight. We’re going to be flying over water for many hours with no place to land. Anxiety starts to take hold.

“You okay?” Brett asks.

I nod and try to think of something else to keep my mind off what we’re about to do.

Brett loads our carry-ons in the overhead bin, and I stuff my backpack under the seat. Then I sit and put my seatbelt on.Tight.

Evelyn laughs. “Mom, we don’t even leave for another twenty minutes.”

“Oh, right.” I loosen the belt.

He pulls earbuds out of his pocket. “I came prepared this time.”

“Elton John?”

“Nothing but.”

“I brought mine, too,” Evelyn says. “Brett told me it can get loud in here.”

“So loud you might not be able to hear someone scream,” he says with a wink in my direction.

“Who’s going to scream?” Evelyn asks.

“Nobody, honey.”Stop it,I mouth to Brett.

“Oh, come on. You know you have to be thinking about it a little bit.” He leans in close so Evelyn can’t hear. “And I did make you scream. More than once if I recall.”

He has no idea just how much Iamthinking about it. Remembering what he did to me—what he did to himself—might be the one thing that keeps me from embarrassing myself with a panic attack. Well, that and some Elton John.

“I think I see our luggage,” Evelyn says.

I lean over her and look out the window. “There’s no way you can tell from here. They all look alike.”

“No they don’t. My suitcase has stickers all over it.”

“Well, good. At least we know it made it on the plane.”

Brett looks irritated when his phone rings. “Sorry,” he says, showing me the screen. “I have to take this.”

It’s Amanda.What if she says there’s a problem with Leo? Will Brett ask to be let off the plane? Would she go so far as to lie to get him to stay? I saw her brooding on the front porch when we left, calling after him and telling him what a horrible father he is for leaving his son.

“I told you earlier that Bonnie knows this,” he says into the phone. “Shelivesthere, in case you forgot. She knows where the sewing kit is, which, by the way isnotan emergency, even if it is Leo’s favorite stuffed toy.”

He doesn’t talk for at least thirty seconds, and I can tell he’s getting frustrated with her. She must be giving him another earful.

“Amanda, we’ve been over this.” Another pause. “I’m not changing my mind. In fact, I’m already on the plane and the flight attendant is staring at me. I have to turn my phone off now.” He looks impatient as he listens some more. “Would you stop with the fake crying and save it for someone who cares? I have to go. I hope you and Leo enjoy your time together. I’ll text you from Germany. I’m hanging up now. Bye.”

He promptly puts the phone in airplane mode, even though we haven’t been told to yet. “The woman never gives up.”

“Why do you think she went so long without being interested in the two of you and now she acts like she can’t live without you?”

“Because I drove off with two beautiful girls today, that’s why. It’s human nature to want what you can’t have.”

“Are we still talking about Amanda?” I ask.

“I don’t know. Are we?”

I laugh at the little game we always seem to play.

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