Page 70 of Sparking Sara

“You have people, too, Sara. We’re all pulling for you to make a full recovery. And you’re doing great.”

“Full recovery,” she muses over the words. “The doctors don’t think I’ll ever get my memory back. Did you know that?”

“Yes. And I’m sorry.”

“But what if … what if I don’t want it back, Denver. What if everything I’ve found out about myself is not the person I want to be?”

“Whether you get your memory back or not, it’s up to you to be the kind of person you want to be,” I say. “For the record, I don’t think you’re a bitch and I can’t imagine you ever being one.”

She stares at me. She stares at me long and hard. She stares at me with those eyes I remember in the mirror. Those eyes that were scared and unsure.

“For the record,” she says, “I’m happy it was you who saved me.”

Chapter Seventeen

The two dead bodies in the front seat of the car have me thinking about my parents.

“There’s a note,” Bass says from the other side of the garage that’s now been fully aired out of exhaust fumes.

A few of us walk over and read it, knowing not to touch it or pick it up since the police will want it as evidence.

“Damn,” Steve says. “She had stage four cancer.” He looks over at the car. “They wanted to go together. On their terms.”

I can’t help but stare at the husband and wife. They’re holding hands and their heads are leaning against each other’s. They look older than my parents were. In their sixties, maybe. And they look completely at peace.

I’ve often wondered if my parents were glad they both died in that accident. What if one of them had lived? Would they have been able to carry on? I guess they would have, for the sake of Aspen and me, but would their existence have been meaningful after losing the love of their life?

It’s strange, the feeling I get looking at the bodies in the car. For the first time in almost six years, I feel a sense of relief that they were together when they died. That they have each other now—wherever they are.

All the way back to the station, I think of Sara and what would have happened if she had died in her accident. How sad it would have been at her funeral with only a few people bothering to show up. Would Oliver have wished he had been in the car, too? Or would he have gotten over her and gotten on with his life?

When I was younger, I thought I was in love with Kendall, and I was upset by our breakup, but now I realize that what really upset me is that she didn’t stick by my side. I wasn’t upset about losing the love of my life, because that’s not what she was. Even after two years with her, I knew I could never have with her what my parents had with each other. But let’s face it—when I was labeled a criminal, not many women would give me the time of day, let alone go out with me. Staying with Kendall was the easy thing to do. And when she left, I had no one.

I know all too well what it’s like not to have anyone. And I think Sara feels like that now. Yes, she has Joelle, but Joelle seems to visit her more out of obligation than anything else. Although I do sense a friendship budding between them, which makes me happy.

She has Oliver, too. But at this point, she’s not sure she even wants him. I’m hoping when she sees her apartment later today, she will begin to accept her life with him.

Four days ago, when Donovan first brought up going on a field trip to her apartment, I thought she’d be more excited. But the more we talked about it, the more she seemed scared at the thought of it.

Something happened that day we ate lunch in the courtyard. Something that made me feel guilty.

Oliver loves her. He may not be the most sentimental guy in the world, and he may not show up and sit with her as much as he should, but I can tell he’s trying. He’s trying hard to get her to fall in love with him.

He even stopped bringing her that vegan crap. The night he showed up with a full steak dinner for her, was the night I decided he really does have her best interests at heart. Something shifted in him that day—the same day Sara and I sat in the courtyard. It’s like he sensed something had happened. Maybe he finally realized that Sara has choices, and that one of those choices is whether to be with him or not.

During breakfast, an official-looking man carrying a briefcase walks through the bay doors at the firehouse. “Brett Cash?” he asks, glancing around at all of us.

Brett stands up. “That’s me.”

The man walks over to him and hands him an envelope. “You’ve been served,” he says before turning and walking out as quickly as he came in.

Brett walks over to the couch and sits down, staring at the envelope as he turns it over and over in his hands.

“Not opening it isn’t going to make it go away, brother,” Cameron says, giving him a pat on the shoulder.

Brett just shakes his head, like he can’t believe it’s happening, even though he knew it was coming.

“Come on, guys,” Bass says, standing up. “Let’s give Cash a minute.”

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