Page 33 of Sparking Sara

What I don’t talk about is Oliver. Not that there’s anything to talk about, but with the possibility of him being at the bottom of the river, I don’t want to give her hope that he’ll show up.

Sara’s fingers twitch a few times. Her head moves once like it’s sore from being in the same position. And every time I see or feel her move, I think of how monumental such little things are. Things you wouldn’t even think about until you’ve been in a cold hospital room for days on end looking at a comatose person. Things that mean she’s coming out from under the sedation. Small steps that mean big progress.

Sara opens her eyes a few more times. And every time she does, I stand up and tell her where she is and that she’ll be okay. Sometimes when her eyes open, they just seemed glazed over. But sometimes she seems focused. Focused onme.

The doctor comes into the room. “We’re going to try and take her off the vent for an hour,” he tells me. “She’s been breathing over it more and more. We need to rebuild her lung and diaphragm strength after all this time of the machine breathing for her.”

I hold my breath when he turns off the machine and detaches the tube from her trach. It becomes almost eerily quiet in the room. I watch her chest intently to see if she’s going to breathe. I start breathing again when I see it go up and down without the help of the machine.

“Tomorrow, physical therapy will be visiting Sara to get her sitting up in a chair.”

I look at him sideways. “Sitting up? She isn’t even awake yet.”

“Don’t worry, they will strap her in and help her. Sitting her up is important to get her lungs working properly. When you lie down too long, your lungs deflate and the insides stick together like an old balloon. When we get her sitting up, her lungs will unstick and completely fill with air, and eventually she’ll find it easier to breathe again. And being in a chair will help re-strengthen her core muscles.”

“So you think she’ll recover?”

“It’s too soon to tell. But we’re going to do everything we can to make that happen.”

Dr. Miller stays in the room for a few more minutes until he’s happy she’s breathing at the rate he wanted to see. “They can monitor her breathing from the nurses’ station,” he says. “If it gets too hard for her before the hour is up, they’ll turn the vent back on.”

When he leaves, I watch her breathe on her own for several minutes. I find it hard not to get emotional again.She’s breathing.

“You’re doing great, Sara,” I tell her.

She opens her eyes as if she heard me.

“It’s okay. You were in an accident. You’re in the hospital and you’re going to be okay. You’re breathing. You’re going to be fine.”

She focuses on me and we just watch each other. For how long, I don’t know. But long.

Then her eyes flutter. I can tell she’s trying to keep them open, but she’s losing the battle. Then an alarm goes off and a nurse comes in to reattach Sara’s tube and turn the ventilator back on.

“She did great,” Krista says. “She just about made it the full hour. She’s probably exhausted.”

“She is?”

“For twenty-four years, her lungs and diaphragm had been working non-stop, and then for six days, they didn’t have to do any work at all. What she just did, breathing on her own for an hour after being on the vent for so long, it’s like running a marathon.”

I look down at Sara, suddenly so proud of what she accomplished today. Someone should be here to see it. Someone she loves.

“Did you hear that, Sara? You’re a fucking rock star.”

Krista looks at me, shocked by my choice of words.

“What?” I ask. “She is.”

“She’s lucky to have you cheering for her.”

My eyes scan all the medical equipment in the room. “I’d hardly call her lucky,” I say.

“I see a lot of patients in comas,” she says. “So believe me when I tell you she is. Your being here and talking to her. Reading to her. Singing to her. It just might be the one thing that makes all the difference.”

My eyes snap to hers, embarrassed that she knows I was singing the other day.

She laughs. “I’m her nurse. I know everything. Now, why don’t you go home and get some sleep. I’ll take care of our girl.”

Chapter Nine

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