Page 86 of Black Roses

Did my daughter feel that way when I gave her away?

My heart sinks into the pit of my stomach as my back hits the wall and my body slowly slides to the unforgiving concrete floor.

A gentle hand touches my shoulder. I look up to see a nurse who’s wearing scrubs with teddy bears on them. Her eyes echo everything I’m feeling. She holds her hand out to help me up. Then she leans in close and whispers, “Come on, honey, some of us know when to break the rules.”

My hopeful eyes snap to hers.

“But only one of you,” she says, peering around me to Amanda.

“Will you be okay out here?” I ask Amanda.

“Yeah, my mom is on her way. I called her before you got here.”

“Good. Thanks, Amanda. You’re a good babysitter. You did everything right.”

She gives me an apologetic nod as the nurse swipes her card, sneaking me through into the back.

With each step, the traumatic cries become louder. I hear the dull drone of the old doctor talking behind a curtain, and we quickly move past it. The compassionate nurse pulls me through an open door into an actual room with walls. She dismisses the aide who is trying to calm a scared and vulnerable Hailey.

I didn’t know what to expect if and when I actually got to her, but when she sees me, her reaction melts me. Her expression changes instantly, as if my walking into the room is the best thing that has ever happened in her entire two years on this earth. “Pie-pie!” she belts out somewhere between a cry and a prayer.

She holds up an arm, the one that’s not splinted to her body, rendering it incapable of movement. A bandage spans her forehead, gauze wrapping around her thin tangles of curls to the back of her head. Big, thick balls of tears catch on her lashes before spilling over to her cheeks. She hiccups between her cries, revealing just how long she’s been at it.

I try not to gasp as fear grips my throat, overpowering me. Instead, I paste a calming smile on my face and walk over to the hospital bed, that’s really more like a crib. “Can I?” I look at the nurse, gesturing to the broken little girl on the bed.

The nurse smiles. “Of course.”

Hailey starts climbing over the railing with her good arm to get to me. When I pick her up, she clings to me so hard we practically become the same person. My face falls to the top of her platinum curls and I inhale her sweet angelic scent.

“It’s okay, sweet pea,” I breathe into her hair, using her father’s endearment to help calm her.

“Hailey boo-boo,” she whimpers into my shirt.

I nod into her hair, holding back more of my own tears while being careful not to touch the side of her head with the bandage. “Yes. Hailey has a big boo-boo. The doctors will fix you, sweetie. Maybe you’ll get a big Band-Aid with a princess on it. Or maybe a pretty pink cast we can decorate with markers and stickers.”

I’m not sure how much she understands through her continued tears. But she’s not screaming anymore, and for that I’m grateful. I cover her ear with a gentle hand and ask, “They will fix her, right?”

The nurse gives me a reassuring smile. “Crying and screaming—those are actually good signs. It means she most likely doesn’t have a brain injury. But she’ll probably need a few stitches.” She smiles down at Hailey, moving a piece of hair away from her face. “Her gorgeous curls will cover any scar. And she’ll need an x-ray of her arm to check for a fracture.”

Beeping noises come from outside the door. “Will you be okay in here?” she asks.

I nod, and then through the lump in my throat, I say, “Yes. I think we both will.”

Her face bleeds compassion. “I’m Sadie, by the way. Don’t let Dr. Warner bully you. You belong here. I’d say her daddy is lucky to have a girlfriend like you.”

“Thanks.”

She makes her way to the door. “Don’t be surprised if she falls asleep from exhaustion. It’ll do her some good. When her parents get here, we’ll proceed with the tests.” She shuts the door quietly on her way out. A window partially covered by blinds remains the only thing separating us from the rest of the emergency room.

I sit down on the chair next to the bed, Hailey still molding her body to mine as her breathing starts to even out. I run soothing strokes down her back and in no time, just like Sadie said, she falls asleep in my arms, hiccupping every so often as her body settles into slumber.

Carefully, I pull Mason’s phone out and text Baylor to see what the holdup is. Almost immediately, it vibrates with a call. I answer in barely a whisper. “Baylor, where is he?”

“I can hardly hear you, Piper,” she says in a loud voice, as if her volume will make up for mine. “Mason wasn’t home so we called the gym and they said he only ran for a short time. Maybe he’s on his way home now. Skylar is waiting outside his building and Gavin and I are backtracking to the gym. Maybe he decided to go back to Skylar’s after his run. We’ll check there, too. What have you found out? Is Hailey okay?”

“She’s asleep for now,” I whisper, looking down upon her delicate head. “They think she’ll be okay, but they can’t run tests until a parent is here. Please—find him, Bay.”

“You can bet on it, Pipes. You just take care of that sweet girl until he gets there, okay?”

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