Page 73 of Black Roses

“Leaving as it I’m taking off by myself for a while. I’m going on a journey to find my inner peace.”

“What? Why are you going all Buddhist on me?”

She smiles, pushing herself off the bed. “We’ve leaned on each other for so long, Piper. Even when you were in New York the past few months, I was still tethered to you. I’m not sure I know how to be me without you. You’re my inspiration. If you can figure it out, maybe I can too.”

“Figure it out?” I laugh. “Are you kidding? What makes you think I’ve figured anything out? Have you not evenseenme these last few days?”

“You can lie to yourself all you want, my friend, but we both know you were like five seconds away from staying in New York until that bitch showed you that picture.”

I sigh. She’s right. I thought about it a lot on Sunday after waking up in his arms. Hell, if I’m being honest with myself, I thought about it long before that. But there are a hundred things that could go wrong.

She pulls her suitcase out of the closet. I spring off the bed to stop her. “Stop, Charlie. If you need to leave for yourself, fine. But you leaving doesn’t change anything. I still can’t be with him. I told you what happened when I tried. I can’t be withanyone.”

She rips her suitcase away from me, quickly dumping the contents of the drawers into it. “That’s a choice you’ll have to make, Piper. But you’ll never know unless you try. You are twenty-two years old. You’re never going to get this time back. When you are old and grey and on your deathbed, tell me this, will you regret not going after this once-in-a-lifetime love? If not, you’re not as strong as I gave you credit for.” She stops packing to look me straight in the eyes. “Remember—nobody can hurt you without your permission.”

I blink, soaking in her words. “Now you’re quoting Gandhi?”

The door to the hotel room swings open and my heart stops beating as Mason crosses the threshold.

“I’m sorry,” he says to Charlie. “I couldn’t wait an hour. I couldn’t risk letting her run.”

Charlie smiles at him and then turns to me. “He’s a smart man. You’d be crazy to let him get away, Pipes.” She pulls me in for a hug. A soul-crushing, heart-wrenching hug that reeks of finality. I’ve never felt this vibe from her before.

She really is leaving.

I hug her back with everything inside of me. Because no matter what happens after she walks out that door, I know our lives are changing forever.

She drags her suitcase into the hallway before the door slams shut behind her. The sound echoes dramatically off the walls as it leaves me alone with Mason in this room that’s shrinking with every silent second we stare at each other.

“I’m sorry,” he finally says. “I know what she means to you.”

“It’s okay.” I shrug back my feelings. “I’ve been through worse.”

His breath catches and his face looks pained as if my words physically hurt him.

“You look like you’ve had quite a workout.”

I’m wondering if he’s talking physically or mentally, but I don’t bother asking. “Why are you here?” I say instead. “I already told you it wasn’t going to work between us.”

“I know you did. But I’m here to change your mind.” He conspicuously stands between me and the door, his penetrating eyes begging me to listen.

“You can’t.” I retreat, going back to the bed while pulling the tight elastic band from my hair that’s starting to give me a headache. I toss it on the bedside table.

“Piper, I’m in love with you.” His hand comes to his chest, right over his heart as if to punctuate his declaration. “And it’s a goddamn miracle. It’s something I never thought would happen. I was happy with my life—well I thought I was anyway. As happy as I could be . . . considering.” He absentmindedly runs a finger along his scar. “Football and Hailey. That’s all I needed. But the day I met you, all that changed. I knew I needed more. I don’t care about your past. What happened, happenedtoyou, Piper. It wasn’t a choice. But this—today—this is a choice. You can’t deny you have feelings for me. You may even love me. But you have to decide to allow yourself to.”

Reluctantly, I shake my head. “Even if you could get past seeing me like that. On that bed with those boys. Even if all that didn’t matter to you, I still don’t think I could be with you.”

“Why not, Piper? Do you think you’re damaged goods? Because I can assure you, it’s quite the opposite. It would be a privilege to be with you.”

I’m exhausted. Emotionally. Physically. I’m tired of holding back with him. Maybe if I tell him, he’ll realize once and for all that I’m right. I close my eyes because I can’t stand to look at him as I bear my soul. “Because your daughter may always remind me of the one I lost.”

The air is audibly sucked from the room and into his lungs. I hear him step across the floor before I feel the bed sink down next to me.

“You had a daughter? Oh, Piper.” He runs a soothing hand down my back, landing it on the bed below, but still keeping his arm so close I can feel the heat from it through my thin running shorts. “Will you tell me about it?”

With my eyes still closed, I say, “You’ll hate me if I do.”

“I could never hate you, sweetheart. You were young. It’s understandable, expected even that you’d have an abortion after what happened to you. And if you can’t have kids now, we’ll deal with it.”

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