Page 63 of Black Roses

Denial shoots through me. I try to convince myself it wasn’t him. But there’s no denying the truth in the picture. I turn up my music, mindlessly staring down upon the shrinking city. And as the water below slowly overtakes the land in the window, I bid a final goodbye to New York.

chapter twenty-four

mason

Pre-season is over. I don’t report to training camp for almost six weeks. It couldn’t have worked out better. I plan on spending every minute I can with Piper and Hailey. The latter may involve kissing a little ass where Cassidy is concerned.

My lawyer said it shouldn’t be too hard to get joint custody. It’s pretty common these days, even when people have demanding jobs like mine. But it will take time.

I can’t begin to think of how Cassidy’s behavior could affect my daughter. I would go for full custody, but without proof—without hard evidence of her somehow endangering Hailey, I don’t have a case. I can only hope it was a one-time thing. I’ve seen her drunk plenty of times, but in the city, where driving isn’t involved, it didn’t seem like that big of a deal. But Saturday night was different. She was completely out of it. And that asshole she was with. I shudder to think Hailey could be exposed to someone like him. I’ve always known Cassidy was a slut, but if she’s into drugs.Shit. I don’t even want to think about it.

I’d rather think of Piper. We passed a major milestone over the weekend. What happened to her is unbelievable. Worse than I imagined—which was maybe some old boyfriend forcing himself on her, or at the very worst, a random stranger assault. But, God, multiple boys raping her while she was obliviously whacked out on sleeping pills? That sickens me. And I know all too well what it’s like to not know the difference between nightmares and reality.

She trusted me. She opened up to me and then she let me hold her all night. I know she believes she’ll never be ready to give herself over to me completely, but I think she’s wrong. In a few short months, she has conquered so many fears. She’s let me kiss her. Touch her. Put my tongue on her. And the orgasms she’s had—if I tried to choreograph the perfect orgasm, I still wouldn’t have come close to even being in the same damn ball park as the reality of watching her lose control and enjoy the ones I’ve given her.

As I put myself through the paces on a treadmill, my mind goes wild just thinking of the sexy birthmark on her thigh. The alluring tattoo that sits just below her ear. Her perfect creamy breasts that I swear were made specifically to fit my hands. The sweet, musky scent between her legs.

Stop it.

I increase the speed of my treadmill and the volume of my music so it’s hard to think about anything but keeping up my punishing pace.

When my run is finished, I look around the gym. I came early, hoping to run into Piper. With my days free for the next month, I thought we could work out together.

We haven’t talked since she left my place yesterday morning. We both skipped Sunday brunch out on Long Island. I think she needed time to process everything. If what she said is true, other than Charlie and her parents, I’m the only other soul who knows. Hell, I’m still processing it myself. I’m still reeling over the fact that her admission connected us on some surreal level I never thought I’d experience with a woman.

I’m in love with her. I’m sure of it. And as soon as I can, I’m going to tell her. I’ll spell it out with Mr. T’s roses if I have to. Anything to make her understand that I’m all in. I’m in this for the long haul. No matter how long it takes. I’m talking marriage, kids, side-by-side burial plots. The whole nine yards.

I stare at my water bottle after taking a drink—a little piece of plastic that has so much more meaning than I ever thought it could. I vow to have a dozen cases delivered to my apartment as soon as I leave here.

I look at the banks of treadmills. I look at the weight stations. I walk past the boxing rings, hoping I’ll catch a glimpse of her.

“How’s my favorite underrated, underutilized football player?”

I turn around, smiling at my favorite gender-neutral friend. Okay, my only gender-neutral friend. “Hey, Trick. How’s business?”

“Good. Busy,” she says. “So busy I’m thinking the bosses need to give me a raise.” She winks.

I laugh. “Glad to hear it.” I look over my shoulder, visually sweeping the premises once again. “Did I miss Piper?”

She looks up at the large clock on the wall. “Huh.” She tilts her head, studying it. “No, you didn’t miss her. She hasn’t been in yet,” she says, turning back to me. “Kind of unusual for a Monday since the restaurants are closed. In fact, I don’t think she’s missed a Monday morning workout since I met her, not counting the day of the marathon.”

My good mood dampens and my heart suddenly finds itself in the pit of my stomach.

Something’s wrong. And I’ll bet it has everything to do with Saturday night. Has she changed her mind about me now that I know her secret? Maybe she thinks I’ll see her differently; that I won’t want to touch her after knowing what happened. Nothing could be further from the truth. I just have to make sure she understands that.

I pull my phone out to text her.

Me: Hey, sweetheart. I missed you at the gym. Can I see you today?

I make some small talk with Trick and a few of the gym patrons, but my attention is largely focused on my phone—waiting, willing it to vibrate with a reply.

Clean from my shower, I throw my gym bag over my shoulder and head in the direction of Griffin’s townhouse. She hasn’t texted me and if she’s having second thoughts, she needs to see in person thatI’mnot.

Skylar smiles when she sees me, holding a sleepy Aaron in her arms. She opens the door and then cranes her neck to look behind me. “You’re alone?” she asks. “Where’s Piper?”

I try to ignore the twist in my gut. “I was hoping you could tell me. I haven’t seen her since yesterday morning.”

Worry etches lines beside her eyes. “She didn’t stay with you again last night?”

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