Page 39 of Black Roses

My arms tighten around her and I lightly press my front to her back. “You have absolutely no idea how much I want to kiss you right now.”

Her body tenses. I rest my chin on the top of her head and close my eyes, inhaling the intoxicating scent of her hair.

“But I’m not going to,” I say. “Not today.”

I feel her relax under me, taking in ragged air as if it’s the first breath she’s had all day.

I brush her hair aside and move my mouth behind her ear, right above her tattoo. “I know it may be expected, being our second date and all. And we are in arguably a very romantic place.” I look around the observation deck, recalling a movie I once saw. “In fact, isn’t this the same spot where Warren Beatty met Meg Ryan on New Year’s Eve?”

She shakes her head. “You’re confusing movies. It was Warren Beatty and Annette Benning. But they never met here. She didn’t show.”

“That’s awful,” I say. “And not romantic at all.”

“Actually, it is. He tracked her down months later and found out the reason she never showed up was that she was hit by a car and paralyzed—on her way to meet him that day. She never wanted him to know what happened to her.”

I’m not even sure she’s aware of how she’s leaning into me as she explains. I play along. I know the movie, of course. But what surprises me is thatshedoes. I wasn’t sure Piper Mitchell had a romantic bone in her body. But it’s there. With my fingers on her wrist, I can feel the racing of her pulse as she describes the way they got together. I can hear the longing in her voice. She may put up the façade of not needing a man, not wanting that one great love, but I can see through the bullshit she lays out for the rest of the world.

“So he accepted her, flaws and all?” I ask. “Even though she thought she was damaged goods?”

My question drives a thick layer of silence between us. I’ve made her think. That’s good. Because I know with one-hundred-percent certainty that whatever happened to her doesn’t matter to me. Not in the least.

She strains her neck, peeking back at me before looking at the ground and shaking her head. “Why are you going through so much trouble, Mason? You know I leave in a few months. If you’re ready to date again, there are so many other girls. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I had a great time tonight, and I really appreciate your efforts, but what do you expect to get out of all this?”

“What do I expect?” I try to reign in my anger, wondering what another man must have expected from her to cause her to become so bitter. “I don’t expect anything, Piper. I like being around you. This feeling I get when you’re near me—I like it. I want it for as long as I can get it. No strings. No expectations.”

“But why here?” she asks. “Why did you bring me to the top of the Empire State Building?”

“I wanted you to see something.” I turn her body and tilt her chin up towards the horizon. “I know you grew up not far from here, and I’m sure you’ve been up here before. But my bet is you’ve never taken the time to see this.”

Silence drapes us once again as we watch the sun while it sets, turning the sky from blue to purple to orange, with streaks of light dancing through the clouds, making their silver linings glow. We quietly observe the yellow ball being swallowed up by the building to the west.

At some point, however, I stopped watching the sky and started watching her. Shivers visibly move down her body when she becomes aware of my stare.

I slowly turn her around to face me and I rub my hands up and down her arms, feeling every hair stand on end at the pass of my fingertips. “Every day is a new beginning, Piper. When the sun sets, it takes all the bad shit with it, wiping the slate clean. It took me a long time to learn that.” I put my wrist in front of her, revealing the scar that spans across it—a reminder of what I’ve lost—a reminder of what I didn’t.

She traces the raised bump with a finger, sending shivers down my spine. I lift my other hand and finger the bracelet on her wrist, wondering if it representsherloss. And for the first time, she doesn’t pull it away.

When I look down into her eyes, she’s looking at my lips. She’s thinking about me kissing her. My pants tighten as I imagine tasting her pink pouty mouth and devouring her sweet scent as our tongues mingle.

Her gaze shifts to someone walking up behind me. I’m almost relieved her eyes went astray, because with the way she was just looking at me, I’m not sure I could have stopped myself from crashing my lips onto hers. But she’s still fragile. She’s not ready. Hell, maybe she’ll always be fragile, but she’s learned to relax around me. Her anxiety, however, is lurking just under the surface, and I fear if I do anything to rush things, I’ll lose her.

“A rose for pretty lady?” I hear in a heavy Eastern European accent. I turn to see a stout man carrying a basket full of roses of various colors.

“Do you happen to have a black one?” I ask, pulling my wallet from my pocket.

The man’s eyes widen with his audible gasp. “Black? No no. You no want black.” He shakes his head. “Black mean death. Black mean no love.” He looks back and forth between us. “You no love her?”

In my periphery, I see Piper shifting uncomfortably from one foot to another. How does one answer that question on a second date? No matter what I say, I’m screwed. I’m not stupid. I keep my mouth shut.

The small man shakes a finger at me. “I see you. From across the way, I watch you. You no need black rose, you need maybe pink. Red even, no?”

I eye all the different colors in his basket. “Okay Mr.—”

“Trudowski”

“Okay, Mr. T, Tell me about the meaning of these roses.”

His eyes light up as if I’d asked him to talk about his grandchildren. “Roses have many meaning. I tell you what mean to me.” He pulls a white rose from the bunch. “White represent purity, innocence, young love. But also loyalty. It say ‘I’m worthy of you’.” He places it back in the basket and retrieves another one. “Yellow rose mean friendship, caring, affection.” He exchanges yellow for orange. “Ahhh, this one good for young lovers. It meaning desire and attraction. Passion.” His eyes bounce between Piper and me as he explains.

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