Page 116 of Stone Vows

“Come on, Kyle. You can’t mess with ancient Chinese proverbs.”

“That is not a Chinese proverb, Lex.”

“Okay, then you can’t mess with the guy in Boston who sits around for days on end coming up with deep existential bullshit.”

He snorts and then walks over to look down on me. “Fine. In the name of deep existential bullshit, I shall lie on the floor.”

He lies down next to me and we both stare at the ceiling, trying not to smile and make each other laugh. We lie here for minutes, silent and anticipating. Anticipating what, I don’t know.

“Is it working?” I ask.

He turns his head to look at me. “Hell if I know,” he says, his eyes taking in the apartment from this new vantage point. “But the next time I clean the apartment, remind me to move the coffee table. I think there are a hundred Cheerios under there.”

I giggle and he smiles. Yeah, I’d say it’s working.

He turns on his side and rises up on an elbow, taking a lock of my hair and working it between his fingers. “Thanks,” he says.

“Anytime.”

He stares at me as his face inches closer. It happens in slow motion—his gaze flitters between my lips and my eyes. His hand moves from my hair to my shoulder. His body moves closer so he’s almost on top of me.

When his lips finally find mine, my body heaves at the intimate familiarity. I’ve only kissed him a few times before, but my body knows what to expect. It anticipates every movement of his lips, and our mouths move together in a synchronized dance only we can perform.

But then, as quickly as it started, the kiss ends and he pulls away, rolling back to where he was as my lips and my body long for more.

“I’m sorry,” he says, leaning his head back onto the floor with a thud.

Those two words say it all.

I close my eyes. “You’re confusing me, Kyle. Do you want me, or don’t you?”

He takes a deep breath. And then another. “Jesus, Lexi, of course I want you,” he says. “But—”

“But what?” I ask, keeping my eyes shut to protect me from his words.

“But I wantallof you, Lex.”

“I’m giving you all that I have to give, Kyle.”

“I know,” he says. “I just have to figure out if that’s enough.”

Little hands slap my chest and my eyes fly open to see that Ellie has crawled over to join us. I pull her over the top of my chest, positioning her between Kyle and me. She laughs, playing with us on the floor.

Kyle sits up and pulls her favorite book off the coffee table. He reads it to her with the signs I’ve taught him. Ellie settles into his lap, pointing at the pictures as he tries to teach her the signs.

It makes me wonder if she’ll ever need to learn the sign for ‘Daddy.’

Kyle looks like a daddy. He even acts like a daddy. But he can neverbeher daddy.

And maybe that’s why this will never be enough.

Chapter Fifty-four

“Ouch!” I yelp. “I’d forgotten how much this stings.”

I stare down at my wrist as a guy named Spike transforms my tattoo into something that won’t have me thinking of the past—only the future.

“Don’t be such a baby,” Skylar jokes with a wink.

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