Page 9 of Stone Promises

I shake my head. “She wanted to be anywhere but there, I could see it in her eyes. She doesn’t want to see me. She hates me.”

“Are you one-hundred-percent sure of that, brother?” Kyle asks, coming up beside me, putting a hand on my shoulder. “If there is even a small chance she wants to see you, don’t you think you need to explore that? You have to be the one, Chad. Contacting you these days is harder than putting a call through to the fucking president. There is no way for her to get to you. Will you be able to live with yourself if you don’t at least try? Because if you don’t, you’ll always be living under the shadow of what could have been.”

I turn and stare at my drunk little brother who’s still in full doc mode. “You pick your specialty yet? Because with all that bullshit you just fed me, maybe it should be psychiatry.”

Everyone laughs. Even me. Because it’s better than admitting everything he said is true. But the thought of contacting her scares the living shit out of me. Maybe it’s just better to dream about what could have been rather than to see what actually is.

Chapter Four

Mallory

I’m finding it hard to concentrate on work today. And you can believe the twenty-one fourth graders in my classroom are taking advantage of that. They are particularly unruly today and I just don’t have the energy to deal with it. Sleep has not been my friend the past two nights. Every time I close my eyes, I see him. Every time I fall asleep, I dream of him. Every waking hour, I try to forget him.

Melissa was right. The way he looked at me—it’s not the way you look at someone who you don’t want in your life. But then why has he never contacted me? Does he think I don’t want to see him? Maybe he’s right. Maybe I don’t. He hurt me in more ways than one and I’m not sure I could ever trust him not to do it again. He damaged me. Making friends after he left was not easy. I was afraid to let anyone get close. I didn’t want to risk it happening again. I was grateful for Julian, but then whenhehurt me, I was left completely alone. Best-friendless. That is until Mel and I met in college.

You forgave Julian, I tell myself. Was what Chad did to me any worse than what Julian did? Can I even blame Chad for what happened? After all, he was only seventeen when his life went into a tailspin. I often wonder what would have happened if it had been me and not him who was catapulted into sudden stardom. Should he be held responsible for how he behaved when his life was so out of control?

Yes, he should. I mean, underneath it all, we’re still human. I just think the least he could have done was call me when Mom died. But by then, I’d told him I never wanted to hear from him again. I guess he took me at my word after I didn’t acknowledge his pathetic attempt to make excuses in the voicemail he left me.

“Ms. Schaffer?”

I look up to see that the dismissal bell is about to ring and Billy Green is trying to get my attention. “Yes, Billy?”

“Uh, you haven’t given us our homework assignment yet and it’s almost three o’clock.”

I glance around the classroom to see all of my students packing up for the day. This is unlike me. I’m organized. I plan everything out down to the minute. I usually write homework assignments on the board while the kids are at recess.

“No homework tonight,” I announce to the cheers of my class. “But I still want each of you to read for thirty minutes.” They grumble about that, but I can tell they are still happy for the most part.

“Are you okay, Ms. Schaffer?” Kim asks, swinging her lighter-than-usual backpack onto her shoulder.

I nod in reassurance. “Yes, Kim. I ran into an old friend the other day and I guess I was just daydreaming or something.”

“How old was she?” Kim asks.

I laugh. “It was ahe,” I say. “And he’s not old as in age; he’s an old friend meaning I used to know him when we were kids.”

“But you don’t know him anymore?”

“No. Not really,” I tell her.

“But you dream about him?” she asks.

All the time. “Daydream,” I say. “Daydreaming is kind of like thinking about something when you’re awake. And you think about it so hard, sometimes you forget where you are or what you are doing.”

She nods in understanding. “Oh, I get it. Like Billy and Justin during math section.”

I giggle. “Yeah, kind of like that. You’d better get going or you’ll miss the bus.”

“Bye, Ms. Schaffer.”

“Bye, Kim. See you tomorrow.”

I spend the next hour going over tomorrow’s lesson plan. I’m not even sure what I taught today. I hope the kids actually got something out of whatever I said. My door swings open and Melissa walks through.

“Are you about done? I’m ready to get to the gym,” she says.

I put away my planner and gather my things. “Yes. The gym is exactly what I need today.”

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