Page 56 of Stone Promises

“What the hell are you talking about, Mal?”

She pulls the sheets up to her chin, almost as if using them for protection against what she’s going to tell me. “Do you remember when I told you about Penny Garrison?”

“Yeah, that she got pregnant and had to go live at Hope For Life because her parents kicked her out?”

She nods. “I’m the one who told her about the place,” she says.

My heart rate shoots through the fucking roof. “How didyouknow about it, Mal?”

She inhales deeply through her nose, closing her eyes as she releases a painful sigh. “Because I thought I might have to live there, too.”

She got pregnant?I lose my breath as much as if the wind got knocked out of me. I don’t know what to say. There is nothingtosay. My heart is in my throat and I feel helpless. “What? . . . How? . . . When?”

“I kind of went wild after you left,” she says. “I know I still had Julian and all, but it wasn’t the same. I guess I went looking for the attention I was no longer getting from you.” She covers her eyes with her hands, her head shaking as she reveals her secret. “I slept with several guys in a short period of time, and . . . and I ended up pregnant. I was sixteen.”

“Oh, Mal.” I scoot up the bed and situate myself next to her, leaning back on the headboard like she is. I don’t touch her. I’m not sure she wants to be touched right now, when she’s telling me the ugly truths of her past. “Will you tell me about it? Please?”

“There isn’t much to tell really. I was reckless and stupid and then one day at school I threw up for no reason so I peed on a stick and it turned blue. I was sure my parents would disown me. They went to church every Sunday. The dragged me to youth group and instilled their values into me. I was terrified of what they would do if they found out. But I also couldn’t dream of having an abortion, so I didn’t know what to do.”

She had a fucking baby? Oh, my God.

“So I did my research and found a place where I could go to have the baby if my parents made me leave.”

“But you didn’t have to go there, right? I knew your parents, Mal. There is no way they would kick their only daughter to the curb. I don’t care if they were the right hand of God, there is no way they would abandon you.” I think of Mallory, sixteen, helpless and alone living at a shelter because she’d already been abandoned by one person in her life. “Please tell me they didn’t.”

She shakes her head. “No, they didn’t kick me out. Quite the opposite, in fact. They were very supportive. They even said they would help me raise the baby.”

I’m confused. Surely she would have told me by now if she were a mom. There was no evidence of a child at her house. No mention by her friends or Richard. “What happened?” I ask. “Do you have a child, Mal?”

“No,” she says. “I had a miscarriage at seventeen weeks.” She looks down at her stomach, bereft. “I know it was for the best.”

“I’m so sorry.” I put my arm around her and pull her close as she sinks into my side. “It’s all my fault. I should never have left you.”

Her eyes snap to mine. “It wasnotyour fault, Chad. And I won’t have you thinking it was. Your parents moved you away and there was nothing you could do about it. It was on me. I missed my best friend and I handled it poorly. I guess we both did stupid things in our past. You turned to drugs to fill whatever void you felt and I turned to boys.”

There’s so much truth in her words. More than I ever realized. She’s right. There was a void. She was missing from my life as much as if I’d lost a piece of myself. “I wish I could have been there for you,” I say. “But I’m glad Julian was at least.”

She shakes her head. “Julian didn’t know.”

“About the guys or about the baby?” I ask.

“The baby,” she says. “I suspected he knew about the guys, but we never talked about it. I think he was in denial. I’m actually kind of surprised he didn’t tell you about them since the two of you talked long after you and I stopped.”

“He never said a word,” I tell her. “So nobody knew about the pregnancy except you and your parents? What about the father?”

She shakes her head. “I wasn’t even sure who it was. And before you ask, you didn’t know him . . . or them. It wasn’t anyone from our school. Nobody else knew about any of it. It wasn’t until Julian and I broke up that I decided to tell him.”

“Why tell him then?”

“Because he called me a tease; said it was why he had to sleep with someone else. He never understood why I went and hooked up with those guys after you left but wouldn’t sleep withhim. Then when he cheated on me, I finally told him why I hadn’t been able to be with him. I didn’t want to risk another pregnancy. I wasn’t ready for that kind of responsibility yet.”

“God, Mal, I’ll bet he felt about as low as a guy can feel after that.”

She nods. “He did. But feeling that way didn’t exonerate him. He should have ended things with me first.”

“Guys are dicks,” I say. “We can be stupid bastards, can’t we?”

She turns to me, begging me with her eyes. “Don’t be a stupid bastard with me, Chad. I’m not sure I could take it after tonight.”

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