Page 69 of Stone Rules

“You had an ultrasound?” I ask, upset that she didn’t say anything to me sooner. “How long have you known about this?”

“Today. I just found out today. It was Skylar who figured it out. I got sick at work and she made me take a test. Then she got me in to see her doctor.”

My head is spinning as I try to process all of this information. She did everything to prevent this. She was on the pill. We used condoms. I can see how distraught she is over this. I can see that she feels like she’s in this alone. I want to support her. But I need answers. “Who is he, Charlie? I need you to tell me everything you know about him.”

“I don’t know anything,” she says, shaking her head. “That Saturday after work, Piper and I went to Ganache—it’s a nightclub over in SoHo. We met these guys, Zach and Kevin. Kevin was married and we joked about him and Piper being our wingmen. We danced. And then . . . ” Shame and regret cross her face. “I don’t know anything else. I never saw him again.”

“Last name?” I ask.

She shakes her head reluctantly, looking down at the ground.

“Zach,” I say, his name rolling roughly off my tongue as if I’d said the devil’s.

“I’m so sorry,” Charlie says. “I never meant for any of this to happen, Ethan. I’ve created a mess of things. Maybe I should just” —she winces as if she’s in pain— “maybe I should just make it go away.”

“No, Charlie.” I finally go back to the couch and sit at her side. “You’re not going to do that.We’renot going to do that.”

“What do you meanwe?”she asks, looking over at me with red-rimmed eyes that match the color of her hair.

I touch her shoulder. “I never should have hurt you the way I did. I knew you had feelings for me. I knew we should be together. But I was afraid. And so I pushed you away. You had every right to be upset. You had every right to do what you did. How can I be mad at you when all of this is my fault?”

She cocks her head to the side, questioning me with her inquisitive stare. “You’re not mad at me?”

I shake my head. “No. I’m not mad at you. I’m mad at myself for putting you in that position. And I’m not going to let you go through this alone.” I’m bombarded with thoughts of what she must have felt at the doctor today. “Do you have a picture?” I ask.

“Picture?”

“Yeah, from the ultrasound. Don’t they usually print out a picture when they do those?”

She nods, reaching in between the couch cushions to pull out the black and white photo. It’s a bit crumpled. Not crumpled like she was going to throw it away; crumpled like she was holding onto it for dear life. I stare at it. I trace the tiny little body with my finger, and emotions besiege me. Emotions I haven’t felt in over eight years.

I take her hand. It’s so soft. So perfectly made to fit with mine. “Listen, Charlie. You don’t know the guy from Adam. He’s history. I’m here. I love you.” I put a hand on her stomach. “And I want this. I never thought I would, but I do. I want this with you. This child can be mine. Even if it’s technically not. We never even have to know. Marry me, Charlie. Marry me anyway.”

She gasps, more tears flowing down her cheeks. It kills me not to know if they are caused by happiness or pain. The look on her face gives me my answer. She tries to smile. It’s a sad smile. A broken smile.

“I can’t, Ethan. Thank you for asking. For trying to do the right thing. But I just can’t.”

“Why?” I ask, searching her eyes for answers.

“You have blonde hair. I have red. But Zach—his hair was black. You say you’ll try to love it, love us, but what if this baby is born with dark hair? What if every time you look at him, you feel betrayed?” She removes her hand from mine. “I know what it’s like to be hated by a parent, Ethan. I won’t let that happen.”

“I could never hate it, Charlie.” I put my hand back on her stomach and hold it there. “People raise children that aren’t biologically theirs all the time.”

“How can you even consider this?” she asks. “After what you’ve been through. After all these years of keeping yourself from relationships. What if something happens to this baby? What if something happens to me?”

I feel a stabbing pain shoot through me at the thought. And it hurts. “I know because the thought of losing you, or even this baby I’ve only known about for thirty minutes, hurts more than you can imagine. That’s how I know this is right. That’s how I know I need to do this. I need you. I need him or her. We can be a family, Charlie. We can have a great life together. All you have to do is say yes.”

I see it in her eyes. On her face. I see the war raging in her mind. It gives me hope that she won’t say no. I’m not sure I could take it after this past month. After getting so close to her, closer than I’ve ever been to anyone.

She sniffs and wipes her nose on the cuff of her shirt sleeve. “Can I say maybe?”

I look into her beautiful hazel eyes and hold her stare with mine. This woman slays me with her beauty. With her stubbornness. With her determination to break the cycles of her past. I laugh. “You can say anything you want, as long as it’s notno.”

She smiles at me. But it’s not just a smile. It’s a sign of hope.

“But I’m going to ask you over and over until the answer is yes.” I grab her left hand and trace my thumb across her ring finger. “Rule number thirteen—some things are just meant to be. And I’m not giving up until you marry me. And I will work my ass off every day to make sure that happens.”

She leans her head on my shoulder, a huge sigh leaving her body as she molds herself to me when my arm goes around her, securing her against me. And we stay like this for hours, both lost in thought. Thoughts of the future. Thoughts of the past.

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