Page 47 of Stone Rules

Chapter Twenty-one

I return an order to the kitchen for the second time today.

“You’re really not on your game today, are you Charlie?” Jarod asks.

I never get orders wrong. And the fact that I’ve screwed up two and it’s not even noon yet, pisses me off. “I guess my mind is somewhere else.”

“Does this have anything to do with that man who was in here yesterday? Or is it my asshole cousin?”

I take a minute to think about his question. I should be upset about my dad showing up. I should be upset about what my mother did to him. I should be upset that he didn’t take me with him when he left. I should be upset about so many things. But why is it that when Jarod asked the question, there was only one thing that came mind? “I’m going with asshole,” I say, walking out of the kitchen with my new order.

I spend the rest of my shift worrying about tonight. I contemplate not going to the gym. I don’t want to see him. It hurts too much to even think about him let alone have him in the same room with me. And I refuse to let him play this game anymore. But damn it, it’s my gym, too. I’m not going to let him run me out of it. If anyone should leave, it’s him.

I think back to last night at the concert. I never knew music could evoke such emotion. Maybe that was all it was. We got caught up in the music. The energy. It was like a drug and we were under its powerful influence. The high I got from it was unlike anything I’d ever experienced. It was perfect. Until it wasn’t. Maybe once the dust settled, he realized I wasn’t what he wanted.

Then I remember his plea when I tried to pull away.Don’t.

It was one word. One syllable. But it said so much more. And the way he held onto me; the way he touched me—it was as if he was drowning and I was his life raft. I’d never felt anything like it before. I didn’t ever want him to let go. Because even though he was the one holding on tight,Iwas the one who was being saved.

By the end of my shift, I make the decision that he’s not going to break me. I’ve already been broken by my father. By so many other men. I’ve been broken so much, I’m not even sure all of my pieces will fit back together. I refuse to let him hurt me. I reach down between my legs and touch the unicorn tattoo on my inner thigh, hoping it will protect me from Ethan as it tried to protect me from all the others. Only this time, it’s not my body that needs protection. It’s my heart. My soul.

I go an hour early for my swim, hoping I will be done before Ethan arrives while still being able to see Mrs. Buttermaker. And for the first time since I’ve known her, she chooses the lane directly next to me, not at the other side of the pool. Even though she doesn’t have any children of her own, she seems to have that sixth sense of a mother. Well,mostmothers.

I complete my swim before she does, and I sit on the edge of the pool waiting for her to finish so we can talk. My conversations with Mrs. B have become one of the highlights of my day. She has this grandmotherly way about her. This worldly knowledge. This sophisticated wisdom that makes her one of the most interesting people I’ve ever met.

She’s traveled the world and we’ve been to a lot of the same places. But she went to take in the sights, the beauty. I went to escape. And although our experiences were quite different ones, she has made me come to appreciate the places I’ve been and the things I’ve seen much more than I ever have.

However, before I get the chance to talk with her, Ethan comes out of the locker room, the look on his face clearly displaying his surprise that I’m already here. The look on my face clearly displaying why I am.

Mrs. B pops up at my feet, smiling her usual smile that adds even more wrinkles to her weathered face.

“I’m sorry. I have to go.” I give her a sad smile as I quickly grab my towel and head for the shower without so much as an explanation for either of them.

When I pass Ethan, I try not to look at him. But it’s as if his eyes have some magnetic force that draws me in. And that’s when I see it. His apology. His desire. His pain. They are all rolled into one sympathetic stare that spears me like a flaming arrow. He reaches his arm out as if he’s going to grab me, but then it retreats before his hand touches mine. Instead, he sighs and runs the hand through his hair.

I round the corner to the locker room so I’m out of their view. I lean against the concrete wall, sliding down until I hit the hard tile floor. I’m mad because he tried to touch me. I’m mad because he didn’t actually do it. I’m mad because I let him get to me without even speaking a single word. But mostly I’m mad at myself for caring.

“Ethan Stone,” Mrs. Buttermaker’s raspy voice reprimands him. “What on earth did you do to that sweet little girl?”

“Nothing more than what she’s done to me, Mrs. B. Nothing more than what she’s done to me.”

I hear a splash in the pool, putting an end to their conversation.

What I’ve done tohim?I’ve done nothing to him.

I pick myself up off the floor and head to the shower, hoping to make a quick exit before Mrs. Buttermaker can corner me and be all motherly and shit. I don’t need to talk about him. I need to forget about him.

On my way through the gym, I run into Devon getting on a treadmill, and just to spite Ethan—even though he can’t see me do it—I say hello. “Hey, Devon.”

He looks at me and then looks quickly around the gym. “Hi,” he says, putting his earbuds in before turning away from me.

Okay then.Geez, I know I was kind of a bitch to him the last time we talked, but wow—that was cold.

Heading out the front door, I remember last night’s plans involving something about swimming and tequila. Plans that were thwarted by he who will not be mentioned.

I stop at the corner store and pick up a bottle on my way home. When I get to the apartment, my door is unlocked. I cautiously open the door, relieved to see Piper standing in my kitchen. She walks out carrying two drinks. Margaritas.

I pull the bottle I just purchased out of the bag, show it to her and say, “Sometimes I swear we share the same brain.” I laugh, taking the drink from her and downing half of it quickly. “How did you know I’d even be here?”

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