Page 39 of Stone Rules

“I’m so sorry.” He reaches out to touch me, but I pull away before his hand can grab mine. “I’m so sorry,” he repeats. “There is no doubt in my mind that leaving was the right thing to do. But I should have taken you with me, Charlie. I should have fought for you. I was weak. I had no idea she would hurt you. I had no idea what she was truly capable of. How can I ask you to forgive me when I will never be able to forgive myself?”

I take in a shaky breath. “No. You have no idea what I went through. You’ll never have any idea of how your leaving ruined me.”

I contemplate telling him. I contemplate telling him I could have lived with the abuse. The slaps, the punches, the burns. I could have even lived with the blows to the head from her precious awards. But what I can’t live with is the fact that there are twelve names on the list I gave to Ethan. Twelve men who have seen me naked. Twelve men who have all done something to me against my will. Twelve men whose names, whose faces, whose vulgar touch will haunt me until the day I die.

Instead, I slide out of the booth to leave, but he grabs my arm. “Wait,” he begs. He reaches into his pocket with his other hand and slides a business card across the table. “Take it. In case you ever . . .” He sighs. “Just take it.”

I look at the card as if it could burn me. He knows I won’t take it. He picks it up and reaches across the table to tuck it in one of the pockets of my apron.

“I’ve never been able to watch a football game without thinking of you,” he says. “Without missing you so badly my heart hurts. Without regretting every decision I’ve ever made.”

Then he lets me go.

And just like that, I walk away from the man who was once my whole world.

Chapter Eighteen

I feel like I just ran a marathon. But I only walked to the rear hallway near Skylar’s office. I slide down the wall until my butt hits the floor. Then I put my head between my knees and breathe.

“Sweetie, are you okay?” Skylar asks, having followed me back.

I nod even though I’m not.

She touches my shoulder. “Use my office. Go home if you like. Do whatever you need to do. I’ve got you covered.”

I look up at her and give her a sad smile. “Thanks. I just need a few minutes. I’m not going home. The last thing I need to do is sit on my ass and think about what just happened out there. If I could just chill in your office for a few minutes, that would be great.”

“Minutes, hours, however long it takes, Charlie.” She hands me the key. “Let me know if you need anything.”

She goes back out front to cover my tables.

As I enter her office, I look at the walls that are lined with family pictures. It reminds me of the wall in Ethan’s reception area. It’s such a novel thing to me—family photos. Maybe because I’ve never had one. As far back as I can remember, I can’t think of one time we had a family photo taken when I was younger. Not. One. Time.

Who does that? What kind of mother doesn’t hang pictures of her family on her walls? The only pictures I remember are pictures ofher.Herwinning awards.Heron a poster of movie promo.Herposing with other celebrities on the red carpet.

There is a knock on the door and then Jarod walks through, carrying a shot glass. I wasn’t aware he’d started his shift yet. He puts the drink down in front of me. “Skylar said to give you this. She never condones drinking on the job, so you must really need it.” He walks into the hallway and then turns around. “This doesn’t have anything to do with my cousin, does it?”

My eyes snap to his. “Why would you say that, Jarod?”

“I don’t know.” He shrugs. “It’s just that he’s been in a really bad mood lately and now you’re back here looking like this.”

“Lately?” I ask.

“Yeah, like since he met you.”

Oh?“I wasn’t aware you two were close. I thought you said he was a pain in the ass.”

“Heisa pain in the ass. But he’s my cousin and I still hang out with him. What’s up with you two anyway?”

“Apparently, nothing,” I say.

“Maybe that’s why he’s in a shitty mood.”

I shake my head. “All the nothingness—it’shischoice.”

He nods his head like he understands. Then he gives me a sympathetic look. Before he walks away, he says, “Cut him a break, okay? He’s been through some shit.”

Some shit?I wonder if it has anything to do with the cryptic Chinese tattoo on his chest, or the CAT one on his neck. Or maybe it has something to do with Gretchen. But I’m too proud to ask. Or too scared. “Haven’t we all?” I say. Then I raise my glass to him and throw back the brown liquid that burns my throat. “Thanks, Jarod.”

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