Page 3 of My Ex-Best Friends

“I didn’t marry him. I came here to stay for a while but we’re going to have to burn that coffee table.” I shuddered. I wanted to close the door to stop all the neighbors from hearing our conversation but I couldn’t force myself to close myself in with the two naked oldies.

“No, no, no. Jimmy and I are just starting our relationship and we can’t do it at his house because he’s got dogs that like to watch and a cat that wants to slap dangling things.” She didn’t give me time to digest that, thank god. “I told you about that monkey’s swollen anus, Brooke. I told you he was a piece of scum, did I not? What’d he do? Or did you just decide to listento your Aunt Karlene for a change? She told you you weren’t supposed to marry that swollen testicle. She told you and I told you.”

I stared up at the sky and frowned. “Why did you give me this burden to bear, God? Why?”

“Brooklyn Diane! I know you’re not really talking to God! You’re a heathen!”

“You don’t know! Maybe I got religious while I was away!” I swore as I realized I’d been sucked into a typical Monroe woman crazy-off. “Dammit. Are you seriously not going to let me stay here?”

“I’m serious! Jimmy and I have needs, Brooke. Go stay with your Aunt Karlene. She’s been missing you. You can help her with the business while you’re there, too. She’s been so busy since she started her ClikTok. The kids just love her!”

The hell I was staying with Aunt Karlene. “I’m going to remember this moment when you’re old and need changing your adult diaper.”

“You’re going to change my diaper just like I changed yours and you’re not going to bitch about it, either! No daughter of mine is going to be a shitty caretaker for her own mother. Do you know what I had to do when your gramma got old? Do you? I had to spread her cheeks and-”

“Bye! See you later!” I hurriedly slammed the door shut and leaned against it. What the hell was I going to do?

Rolling my head to the side, I stared down Front Beach Road and sighed. I could see the flashingVacancysign in front of The Snazzy Motel from where I stood. It was a hippies haven when it was first built in the late sixties, I was sure, but no one had touched it since. A free love movement had gone through that motel and it smelled like it had. Between staying at the motel and with Aunt Karlene, who would inevitably upload a video of my bare ass to her TikTok, I chose the free love dumpster fire.

One floor of rooms, The Snazzy Motel was painted bright orange and had paintings of things like smiley faces, peace signs, and even a few flowers spread out randomly around the front of the building. The front office was an affront to every sense I had when I opened the door. The strong odor of skunk weed, the blinding neon colors on the walls, and the thick shag carpeting underfoot made me want to cry a little. It was just…a lot.

My feet sank into the carpet as I walked over to the desk but the man behind it still heard me coming. He was an older man with a handlebar mustache wider than his entire body and his grin stretched almost as wide when he looked me over. “I believe you might be having a worse day than I was when the government took my driver’s license away. You need a room or an exorcism, girlie?”

I huffed. “Which one’s cheaper?”

He twirled one side of his mustache and picked up a joint with his other hand. Nodding to it, he raised his brows. “You mind?”

“Smoke ‘em if you got ‘em.” I shook my head when he offered me the joint. “The day I’m having? That’d be laced with poison and I’d fall dead right here and now.”

“What dumb fuck let you slip away? You’re a peach.” He held up a room key. “For you? Fifty a night, no tax. Friends and family discount.”

“If I didn’t think there was a possibility you’d already slept with my mother, I’d kiss you.” I slipped him a fifty and took the key.

“Who’s your momma?”

I smirked. “Crazy Daisy.”

He had the decency to blush. “Best two weeks of my life.”

“I believe you. She’s the real peach. Right now, I’m pretty sure I’m just the pit.” I shook the key and backed away. “Thank you.”

As I walked out, he shouted at me. “You’re more than the pit, baby! You’re a whole peach! You’re going to be the wholegoddamn tree for some lucky guy! Not me, on account of I slept with your momma, but someone!”

A passing family glared at me like I’d been the one screaming it. Ignoring them, I made my way to room three and let myself in. It took me a second to find the light switch and when I did, I nearly crawled out of my skin. A roach skittered past me on the floor and I nearly killed myself trying to get back outside.

“Not a chance in hell.” I shuddered and rubbed my hands up and down my arms, trying to get the sensation that bugs were crawling over my skin to go away. I was considering Aunt Karlene’s place when I thought about Logan’s card. I couldn’t. That would be crazy.

I closed my eyes and blew out a deep breath. The crazy didn’t fall far from the tree, that was for sure.

4

***Brooke***

If Logan was surprised by my call, he didn’t act like it. He’d just given me his address and invited me over for dinner with everyone. Was I in a panic that I was driving to have dinner with the three men I’d once known just as well as I knew myself? Yes. Was I freaking out because I hadn’t seen them in almost a decade and the last time we really spent a lot of time together, we’d lost our minds and had sex? Oh, dear god, yes. I was also petrified that they hated me. They should. I’d freaked out after aforementioned sex and avoided them until I’d just split entirely. I didn’t deserve an invitation to dinner, but I was taking it. The last time I could remember being really insanely happy was with them. Even if they hated me, I just wanted to steal a few minutes of comfort from being around them.

Not that things had been comforting with Logan when I’d run into him at the gas station. That’d been painfully awkward. I was telling myself it was just because it’d been a surprise. Things would be fine.

Logan lived in a two-story house at the end of Barnacle Lane. His house sat on top of a hill with what I was guessing was a beautiful view of the ocean over the tops of the neighborhoods between his and the beach. Instead of sand and palm trees, he had real grass and trees that my mom would’ve loved to climb. It was a beautiful house, pale green with dark shutters and a walkaround porch. I parked behind two trucks and an old Jeep and walked up the stepping stone walkway to the porch.

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