Page 74 of So Thrilled For You

‘It’s not too late to back out, no,’ I tell Rosa calmly. ‘I’ll support you whatever you decide.’

God, it feels so good to be on the phone, being good at my job, after overhearing that awful conversation earlier.

‘It’s just all too much. All of it. Nina Baldwin . . . the Hollywood stuff. I . . . I . . . I never even thought I’d get an agent, letalone you. And then I never thought I’d get published, and now this . . .’

‘It’s because you’re talented and you’ve worked your arse off,’ I say.

‘But I’m not. Writing is just a silly hobby.’

‘Rosa, you’re a star. I know that’s overwhelming to hear, but you’re a star and you were always supposed to be a star. The world needs your book. The world needs your perspective.’

‘But—’

‘—I’ve told you before howBlood Mooncompletely changed my opinion on about five key things. It opened my mind, it opened my heart. I learned so much, and, what’s so amazing about your writing, is that Ilovedevery single moment of that learning experience. It would break my heart to deny the world of that.’

‘But Steffi . . . I’m . . .’

I swap my phone to my other ear and apply my very best soothing voice. ‘I know all of this is overwhelming. I know it feels surreal. I can’t tell you nothing will change, because it will. But don’t you want it to change? Isn’t that why you sent me this glorious manuscript? Because you want people to read your work, to get that perspective? Part of you, a part that might be a bit buried and overwhelmed right now, knows that, it believes in you. It believed in you enough to get you to write this book. Listen to that voice, Rosa. It believes in you, and I believe in you.’ I smile so she can hear it in my voice. ‘Yes, the next two years of your life are going to be insane, but I’ll be holding your hand every single step of the way. I won’t let go.’

‘I don’t know.’ Rosa’s breathing starts to match mine. She’s speaking from her chest now, not her throat.

‘Holding your hand every step of the way.’

‘But . . . the money. What will I even do with it?’

‘You’ll move out of the flat share that you hate.’

She laughs. ‘Then what?’

‘You’ll hire the amazing accountant I recommend to sort your taxes out, and you’ll realise you’re not as rich as you think because you’re going to lose half of it to tax. You will suddenly get about 30 per cent more right-wing the second you calculate your tax bill.’

She splutters with laughter then falls quiet again.

‘This book . . . it’s my soul, Steffi. It’s who I am . . . If I get a big deal, a film . . . everyone’s going to hate on it.’

I nod. ‘It’s going to utterly transform some people’s lives in the best way. There will be millions of people out there, myself included, who will divide their lives into‘before’and ‘after’ the time they readBlood Moon.Your work is going to inspire and save people.’ I pick up a tube of toothpaste on the side, squeezing it around to give my hands something to do. ‘But, I won’t lie to you. Lots of people will hate it and will tell everyone they can how much it sucks. That’s the nature of writing books. Honestly, go onto Goodreads and see what idiots say about your favourite books.To Kill A Mockingbird?One star. Not enough birds in it.’

She laughs down the line and I leave a long silence, hearing my heart thump through my thin dress. I’m confident I’ve got this, but, if she does back out, I’m so utterly fucked. I blink away thoughts of emailing the most powerful people in the business and withdrawing the manuscript . . . I’ll be blacklisted . . . I’ll gobankrupt. Rosa cannot know how important she is to my future. ‘I’m just . . . a bit freaked out.’

‘Of course you are. But my hand. It’s here. Holding yours.’ I leave another lengthy silence. ‘Have you considered this might be the best thing that’s ever happened to you? You never need to worry about money ever again. You can write every day for the rest of your life. What you love the most. No more squeezing it in around your day job.’

‘Hmm . . .’

‘Whatever you want to do, I’ll support you.’

‘I . . . I . . . You’re right. It’s all good. I just feel a bit freaked out.’

‘Are you alone?’

‘Yeah.’

‘Ring your friends. Go out. Tell them the news. Make this real. Don’t just stew in this alone. No wonder you’re going a bit mad.’

‘I can’t tell my friends yet! What if it doesn’t happen?’

I smile and replace the toothpaste, knowing we’re safe, as she’s worried it will be taken away. This is just a wobble. ‘Rosa, I promise you now, this book will be published in a major deal with a major publisher. That is definitely going to happen – in the UK, and the US and Germany, and judging by my emails so far, probably at least another twenty countries too. That is all definitely going to happen. The film stuff? That I can’t promise you. I mean, we’re definitely going to get a major option deal, but that doesn’t mean anything will get made because Hollywood is crazy and nothing ever gets made. But this much is real and you can trust it. You can trust me.’

There’s a deep sigh down the line and I cross my fingers and wait. ‘. . . OK . . . you’re right . . . sorry. I’m thrilled, I really am. It’s just a lot.’

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