Page 6 of So Thrilled For You

Nobody ever celebrates that about her when they do all the deifying.

My power shower roars into action and the water’s actually warm out of my cold tap, even with it turned to the lowest. I throw myself under the jets anyway, lather up my hair, and sing a little tune to myself.

This is it, this is it, this is fucking IT.

I was right to trust this. Trust setting up my own agency, trust theBlood Moonmanuscript, trust that this huge risk will pay off. It’s been beyond terrifying, especially as I have literally no safety net, other than Charlotte’s promise I can squat in her granny annexe if everything goes tits up. But I know I’m making Mum so proud and it’s not a risk really. Not whenBlood Moonis so ridiculously good. Another, delicious, message arrives on my phone while I’m wrapped in a towel and lathering myself in moisturiser. This one’s from Jane at Eagle Press. She’s slightly more professional as we’ve never worked closely together, but I know she’s been desperate to get something likeBlood Moonon her list.

Jane:

Hi Steffi. It was lovely to see you last night. Thank you for putting together such a great evening. I’m not usually one to message on the weekends, but I started reading Blood Moon on the tube home, and I’ve not stopped reading. It’s exquisite. It’s everything I’ve been searching for. Congratulations. Expect to hear from me first thing Monday. Have a wonderful weekend. Sincerely, Jane.

I let out another whoop and re-sweat myself doing a victory dance around my sauna of a flat. However, exceedingly quickly, the magnitude stops me, cold, in my bedroom. I realise my entire life now depends on how I play this over the next three days. I’ve been given a great starting position, but this vital race is far from won and I really don’t want to live in Charlotte’s granny annexe. She’ll make me dust the inside of the microwave like when we were students. I pull out my desk chair and sit down, wiping my forehead with the back of my hand.

Right.Strategise.I must let these two editors know about the super early excitement. Make them spend the weekend worrying they’re not going to get it. Plus, I need to let the other eight know there’s this much interest already so they read it in time for Monday. This must be delicately done. I can’t wind them up too much, or make them think, initially, the final offer will be too high, or they’ll get spooked about budget and maybe not bother offering at all. I need to send exactly the right messages, in exactly the right tone, at exactly the right time, and play everyone off with precision. It’s going to be a carefully choreographed dance and I must execute every step perfectly. Oh, seriously, why do I need to be schlepping to Nicki’s baby shower today?Nicki’s. She’ll spend today watching me like a hawk doing an eye test so I have to besuperpresent andsuperenthusiastic to show her howsuperhappy I am for her. Which is why I’ve spent over fifty quid on a box of hand-embroidered babygrows, alongside forty quid on a vat ofNeal’s YardBump Juice. Oh, I know how to play the game, even if I can’t afford the gifts because I’ve put everything into my agency. A ridiculous risk for a single woman with no living relatives, butBlood Moonis going to change the world, and Rosa’s world, and my world. The firework is lit and it’s spectacular andeverything is about to take off and yet I’ve got to hoick some hand-embroidered babygrows to the middle of nowhere, in 32 degrees, so I can pretend to be happy for someone who has decided they hate me. I put my face on the cool of my wooden desk and sigh into my shoulders. I could fake a dodgy tummy then go to the loo regularly to send emails?

I wish I could just not go and it not mean anything. Or, I wish I could go and at least say, ‘Hey, Nicki. I’m really happy for you, honestly. But, this weekend, my business is about to take off, which is very useful since otherwise I’ll go bankrupt and homeless. Today is actually super important for me too. No, I’ve not timed this deliberately to spite you. Do you mind if I just send some work emails while I’m at your baby shower? As this is literally my life, my career, my everything? Can we just let me do that and it not mean anything to do with your weird twelve-year grudge? Please? Because we’re not twenty anymore? PLEASE?’

But I can’t say that. I pride myself on being an honest person. A no-nonsense, cut-the-shit, dare I sayauthenticperson. Apart from in this particular friendship group –The Little Women.Lauren and Charlotte are essentially family, and, sadly, Nicki’s dysfunction comes with this package – making it a more realistic family I guess. I have to swallow some inauthenticity to keep my siblings.

So, yeah, the most important day of my life and I’m going to have to fake diarrhoea... Great.

My phone bleeps again.

Transcript: Inspector Simmons

interviewing Charlotte Roth

Charlotte: I’m telling you, Inspector. It was the perfect day.

Simmons: Up until a wildfire caused 35 acres of damage and incinerated three residential properties.

Charlotte: Well, if youinsiston focusing on the negative...

Charlotte

On reflection, it’s a good thing I didn’t go for the stork ice sculpture.

I mean, it would’ve set off the peony wall beautifully, and the balloon arch, but it definitely would’ve melted, and that’s not a good sign, is it? A stork perishing slowly at a baby shower? So, no stork. Good call. It’s still going to be perfect.Perfect.

I’ve been up since dawn, counting everything to go into the pastel goody bags. The article I bookmarked – ‘How to Throw the Perfect Baby Shower’ – was very clear the host should give something back. Nicki shouldn’t have to worry about that, so I’ve ordered lip balms and luxury popcorn online, as well as some cute personalised bottles of shower gel that sayThank you for showering with us.How funny is that? I saw them on a ‘Quirky Baby Shower Favours’ listicle. Once everything’s counted, I head to the kitchen and check through the catering. I open the fridge, sighing as cool air hits my skin, and reach in to stir the three jugs of pink lemonade I brewed last night. They’re perfect, ready to pour into the mini glass milk bottles I’ve tied with pastel bows. On the top shelf, the cupcakes are holding up nicely that I baked after school yesterday. Hopefully they won’t taste of fridge. I took everything out and bleached the fridge beforehand, just in case, and now I’m worried the cupcakes will taste of bleach. They look stunning, with their whirls of piped icing and delicate sugar paper hearts. In the bottom fridge drawer, I’ve got the chopped strawberries andblueberries, ready to assemble closer to start time as I don’t want them to get soggy. Then there’s the pink wafer biscuit towers to build. I’ll wait till I get to Nicki’s parents’ house to assemble those. They’ll sit alongside the jars of blue liquorice I ordered online from a speciality US store. I’m so relieved the liquorice arrived in time. Honestly, I’ve been havingpalpitations. Right. Fab. Now I need to check everything for the games. I head to my organised piles in the living room and start re-counting. Have I printed enough copies of the Famous Babies quiz sheet? Check. Do I have the baby food ready to spread into nappies for Guess the Flavour? Check. I’ve got 30 dummies. Check. They cost more than I thought they would, but they’re going to be great for Hook a Dummy. I check the homemade fishing rods are sturdy enough. Was it wrong to get my Year 5s to make them as our crafts project this week? Probably. But I was running out of time. I can’t wait for that game. The roll-top bath is going to make the best pics. Then there’s the dyed hard-boiled eggs, ready for the spoon race – waiting in the cooler. That’s going to make great pictures too. It’s a shame the hosepipe ban has probably turned their garden to dust, but, still, it will be fun and—

‘Oh, babe,’ Seth’s voice makes my ears tingle. ‘Please tell me you slept some?’

I put down the papier-mâché vulva I made for the piñata and smile.

‘Maybe between twelve and four,’ I tell my husband.

‘You need to rest.’ He hugs me from behind, his body almost uncomfortably warm, resting his chin on my head. I seep back into him.

‘Organising is restful to me.’

He laughs. ‘So you keep claiming.’

I stretch my neck up and we share a kiss. Seth tastes of morning, but I’m minty fresh as I always brush first thing. That’s how you’re supposed to brush your teeth, you know? You’re supposed to brush first thing to scrub off the plaque that’s formed overnight. Plus, it coats your teeth with toothpaste and protects them through breakfast. If you eat breakfast and THEN brush your teeth, you’re actually brushing off the enamel as the bacteria is feeding off your food. I read about it when I googled ‘How to Brush Your Teeth Properly’ after reading ‘Can Gum Disease Cause Infertility?’

‘Are you still OK to pick up the doughnut wall this morning?’ I ask him.

He smooths my hair down lovingly. ‘Yes. I’ll collect Matt and head over to the bakery. I’ll keep the air con on so the glazing doesn’t melt.’

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