Page 11 of Say Yes

“Yeah. Dad kept me more than Mom, but even then, it was never for more than a few months. But at least he tried. Once, he even bought me a puppy, to keep me company while he was gone to work, he said. But then a few weeks later, I had to leave because he got a new girlfriend, and Mom had a fit about the dog and…and Dad gave it to a guy who owned a farm. The pup had plenty of room to run around and play, he said.”

Oh God. Gavin could feel her pain, could see it in her eyes. He couldn’t begin to imagine how a small child, especially one as tenderhearted and sweet as Sara, might have reacted to such a blow. She must have been crushed.

So many things were starting to make sense. He said very quietly, his eyes on her face, “You really cared about the dog, didn’t you?”

She wouldn’t look at him. “Of course I did. He was a cute little thing, always running by my side, sleeping in my bed at night. We’d take long walks together, and play together down by the stream. I loved him. But what was really awful was that he loved me, too. He thought I’d always be there for him, but there wasn’t anything I could do when Dad took him away. I begged, but Mom only offered to let me get a fish.” She peered up at him. “Fish aren’t nearly as messy, you know. But they are pretty hard to cuddle.”

He’d never guessed Sara might have had a less than perfect upbringing. She was always so filled with optimism. He’d just assumed, with her so determined to marry, that she’d come from a background similar to his. But he realized now her need for a marriage, a home, even a pet, wasn’t because she’d seen the wonderful side of that life, but because she hadn’t. Ever. She’d been shuffled around and she wanted now to find some stability.

He supposed it made sense, the way she’d reacted to her upbringing. His parents had shown him the better side to marriage, his sisters, too. But still, when they’d all wanted to see him happily settled, he’d rebelled. They wanted him to do one thing, so he fought to do another. It was a response borne more of stubbornness than logic, but being the only son in a family of females had bred that stubbornness. Fighting for your independence in the midst of a gaggle of coddlers was a hard habit to break.

“Is that why you were so anxious to get married? You wanted a home of your own?”

Without his encouragement, she raised her small hand and smoothed it over his chest, tangling her fingers in his body hair. The wine had helped to lower her inhibitions, and she seemed very intent on exploring the different textures of his body. She apparently enjoyed touching him, feeling him. And heaven knew, he wouldn’t discourage her from it. But now her gestures had new significance. He wondered how often, if ever, she’d been coddled and held.

Her gaze came up to meet with his, and he caught his breath. Damn, she was so sexy, and she didn’t seem at all aware of it.

“I think I wanted to prove to my parents how easy it could have been if they’d only tried. Neither of them spent near the energy on their relationship that they gave to their jobs.”

They evidently hadn’t spent much energy on their daughter, either. Gavin leaned down and kissed her forehead, wanting to crush her close, but also wanting her to continue talking. “Sara…I understand how you must have felt. But trying to prove a point to your parents isn’t a good reason to marry the wrong person.”

“I know. Ted was nothing like a pet. Well, maybe a whiskery little rat.” Her brow puckered as she considered that, then qualified, “One with mange.”

She said it so seriously, and he agreed so completely, Gavin couldn’t stop himself from kissing her again. He meant it as a tender touch, a form of teasing comfort, but Sara didn’t cooperate. She cupped his face in her hands and licked over his lips, making small, soft sounds deep in her throat that drove him crazy.

He loved her enthusiasm, but he wanted so much more. “Sara…”

“You taste so good, Gavin. I knew you would.”

Oh Lord, he’d put himself in a hell of a position.

He knew it was the wine and her own vulnerability making her speak so boldly. Sara was generally rather reserved and circumspect in her behavior. But then, she’d been engaged, and he knew she would never have betrayed a commitment.

He’d never understood why the house meant so much to her. Now he did. It symbolized all the things she hadn’t had as a child. And he had built it for her. His chest puffed up and he felt like crowing. Surely that had to count for something in her eyes.

Her soft hands moved across his shoulders, his chest…his belly. He caught his breath and heard her laugh. Then he caught her hands. Much more of that and he’d forget his good intentions.

“You’re awfully hairy,” she whispered. “Probably not as hairy as a puppy, though. And you smell much better than a dog would.”

“Thank you.”

She smiled at him, their noses only half an inch apart, and her eyes nearly crossed. He shook his head, thoroughly exasperated with her, but mostly with himself. He’d had such grand plans, self-centered plans, and now he’d have to alter them a bit to give her the time she needed. He felt the weight of responsibility, and knew he’d never do anything to hurt her.

As he came to a few decisions, he watched her sway in her seat. She seemed to be trying to keep him in focus. “You’re awfully serious, Gavin.”

“And you’re awfully drunk. You sure as hell can’t hold your liquor.”

“I know.” She didn’t sound sorry, only accepting. “Ted used to say I was too prissy. It irritated him that I wouldn’t drink with him. But I knew if I did, he’d take advantage of me.”

He wished Ted was here now. He wished he’d gone to see him six weeks ago, when he’d first cheated on Sara and hurt her. He hadn’t then because he didn’t want it to seem as though he’d coerced her final decision in any way. If she left Ted, it had to be because she chose to, not because he made her feel she should.

Pushing her back enough so he could catch his breath, Gavin asked, “Aren’t you worried I’ll take advantage of you?”

“No. Unfortunately,” she said, in a mournful voice, “you’re too honorable for that.” Then she gave him a slow, exaggerated wink. “But maybe if you drink enough, I could take advantage of you?”

She swayed again as she said it, and nearly fell off the couch. Gavin caught her, then held her upright. “You’d like that, would you?”

“Oh, yes.” She pushed his hands away and curled close again, snuggling the side of her face against his chest. “I probably shouldn’t tell you this, but I’ve fantasized about you.”

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