Page 60 of Keeping Sarah

“First of all, I’m glad you came.” She folded her hands on top of the desk. “I’m still learning about how communications work here and I wasn’t sure how to send word—"

“Why are we in Rex’s office instead of inAllegiantright now?” I demanded impatiently. “And why the fuck did you run away from the cave?”

She smiled, but it was strained. “I did not like sharing you two, even in that limited format. More than that, Tolkabern was not going to let it go at just watching you two. He liked seeing you both too much for that. I have no doubt that things were going to get worse afterwards.”

Her body trembled and her head listed to the side, while Rex’s face popped out from the side of her neck, startling both Deacon and me.

“It’s true,” Rex said, while we stared at him incredulously. “If Tolkabern got his way on one thing, he would push for another. It’s his way. He would have tried to bed one or both or all three of you. Sarah has flawless instincts.”

Then her body vibrated again, and her head righted. “So, see? I made the right call.”

Helios shuddered. “That does not stop being disturbing, does it?”

I gritted my teeth and asked, “Why are you joined with him again, instead of on our ship?Alone?”

“Omen mentioned that thing about a remnant of Rex being in me,” she pointed out. “Well, it turns out, we may have traded remnants. That’s why he’s been nicer to his people and I have been—"

“That’swhy he changed the fighting pits?” Helios asked, looking horrified. “You’ve infected my master?”

“Actually, it appears we infectedeach other,” she stated, looking way too calm and relaxed. “So, we are working hard to fish out those remnants and put them back where they belong. That way, we are both whole again.”

A muscle in Deacon’s jaw ticked angrily. “Who says he will not takemoreof you this time?”

“He didn’t take any of me in the first place, Deacon,” she said, sitting up straighter in the chair. “He doesn’t want to be infected by me any more than I want to be infected by him. And morethan that, none of us want Faithless to fall apart. As things stand now, the majority of ghosts on Halla live here, which means they have structure and rules, which is a very good thing. That’s probably why the ununited among our crews and friends have not been hassled by the ghosts as much as we thought they might be.”

I sighed and rubbed my fingers across my forehead, trying not to lose my shit. “Okay, so we want Faithless to stand, but what aboutyou? How long do you think this sorting of remnants is going to take?”

“I’m not sure,” she said, glancing from me to Deacon. “Which is why I think you two should go back home for now.”

“What?” We shouted together.

She sighed a bit impatiently. “You both have obligations aside from me—"

“Nothing that cannot be changed,” Deacon said heatedly.

“And Rex has meetings about keeping the peace here and other things, all of which will requireourpresence,” she went on. “So, I will be busy, probably for the next few days or maybe even longer, while we get everything untangled. You can’t put your lives on hold.”

Then she shifted her gaze solely to Deacon, her own softening. “I know you have more at stake than just me right now. Originally, we were to unite, and then you intended to go back to Orhon for the next part of your plan regardingeverythingthere,” she said meaningfully. “So, it makes sense for me to stay here and handle Faithless, while you handlethat.”

I had been so focused on Sarah that I had forgotten about all ofthat—by which she meant Deacon’s plan to wage a coup on Justice Bateen. But she couldn’t say the specifics in front of Rex and Helios, and had to speak in code.

I had no clue how she kept the partition in her mind between her thoughts and that monster inside her head, but I imaginedthat was how the remnants must have been created in the first place. Severing lines of memory must have left pieces of memory scattered in her mind. His, too.

Forcing her to speak in code about the coup like this is not going to help that situation.

I regretted the words before I even said them. “She’s right, Deacon.”

He jumped up from his seat. “Have you both lost your minds?” he shouted.

I gently shook my head and closed my eyes, because I couldn’t bear to look at Sarah when I said, “She is not the only thing we have at stake right now, and if the other things do not fall into place, we could lose everything, including her.” Andthatwas not a risk I was willing to take.

His hands fisted at his sides as he studied us each in turn. “This is a terrible idea.”

Sarah’s lips pursed. “If you have a better one, I’m all ears,” she said as she sat back.

He looked ready to wage war, then suddenly, as if he realized that Sarah was right, his shoulders slumped. “No, I do not.”

“Then, it’s settled.” Sarah sounded resigned, but sad, too, and I couldn’t imagine the strength it had taken for her to make such a difficult decision. “Please be careful and take care of each other and know that I am doing everything I can to get back to you both as soon as possible.”

---