Page 38 of Keeping Sarah

She huffed. “I swear, I should just cut my throat and be done with it.”

Deacon and I shot each other a look of alarm, before he said, “The fuck are you talking about?”

Her posture stiffened up, and she glared at Deacon. “That’s what you would like, isn’t it, my boy?” she said, her voice her own, but the words were not. “If I wasn’t a problem for you anymore? Maybe you could do it for me, like the last time.”

A chill shot up my spine as I peered into her normally warm brown eyes. But they were dark and cold. “Sarah, what are you saying?”

She blinked and looked at each of us in turn. Her shoulders slumped and her voice broke. “I…I don’t know. I don’t know what I’m saying. I’m sorry—I’m so tired.” She rubbed her forehead. “I just need a lot of sleep after everything, but I need to figure out a plan to deal with Rex, and I’m frustrated, and—"

Deacon took her hand in his, his touch gentle. “Whatever you need, we are here for you.”

“I’m sorry, guys,” she whispered.

I tried to smile and failed. She suddenly looked so scared, and I had no idea why. “It’ll be alright, Sarah. Let’s get you to bed.”

She nodded and we trundled off toward the bedroom. Once we had undressed and had her between us, her body started to relax, which made me be able to do the same.

Deacon kissed her cheek and softly asked, “Is this better?”

She yawned. “Yeah,” she said sleepily.

I stroked her soft hair. “Do you think Rex—"

She roughly growled, “I’ll be back to kill you all!”

Deacon and I jerked away from Sarah, but she didn’t notice. She seemed to drift off to sleep as if she hadn’t just threatened us, and we extricated ourselves from her, leaving her in the middle of the bed.

I wanted to look at Deacon’s face, to see if he was okay after that, but I couldn’t tear my eyes away from Sarah, who abruptly sat up, blinked rapidly, and started to cry.

“I can’t…he’s still in my head,” she sobbed in despair, covering her face with her hands. “I don’t know what I’m doing.”

CHAPTER 12

Deacon

The three of us stared at each other in silence after Sarah’s concerning outburst. I reached for her hand, but she jerked it away. “Don’t touch me!”

I felt so helpless to comfort her, and I hated the feeling. “I am sorry, I—"

“I don’t want to hurt you,” she wept.

It was an odd phrase coming from her, but I nodded and carefully rejoined her on the bed. So did Jac on the other side of her. “I am not going to touch you, but I want to sit with you. Is that alright?”

She nodded, tears falling down her pretty face. Each devastating one made me want to crumble with her. Each one reminded me why I could not.

“Would you like some water?” Jac asked quietly.

She sniffled. “I’d like tissues.”

“They’re not really a thing on Halla—"

“Why the fuck not!” she shrieked at him.

“We do not cry much,” I tried to explain. “Nor do our sinuses become burdened by—"

“Shut up!” she yelled in my face. But then she curled her knees up to her chest and clasped her arms around them, rocking her body on the bed that way. “Oh god, I’m so sorry.”

I cast a glance at Jac, only to see that he was just as stricken as I.

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