Page 86 of Hawthorne

It was rough at first being put in the Asian box in a European Archipelago, where most don’t share similar physical characteristics. Then, I was also a commoner studying at an elite university in the kingdom. It certainly made me the odd one out plenty of times. So, after having Rachel and Charlie with me, those characteristics fell more into the background, no longer being the definition of me.

Those five years were oddly…happy and fun, even after the break-up with Charlie. Despite everything, we stayed somewhat friends, hanging out here and there, completely losing contact only after our master’s ended.

One would think I would have suffered more with the break-up because Charlie was my first and only—well until Vincent, that is.

Oh my, Vincent.

It’s barely been a day, and I already miss it.Him.

No!I can’t dwell on that. I came here to put some space between us, to organise my spiralling thoughts and have some fun.

“Won’t it be weird? We used to date…” I trail off.

“It’s only weird if you make it weird,” she answers. “Maybe he wants to reconnect?”

Scrunching up my nose, I laugh. “After so many years? I am not interested and would not be that delusional. He’s probably engaged already.”

“He’s not!” She looks at me pointedly. “Believe me, I know.”

“Then why don’t you go and mingle?” I ask, and she looks away.

With the way she’s been ogling him up all night, I’d say she’s interested in him. Is she keeping away from him because of me? I surely hope not.

“He’s your ex. It’s not right,” she mumbles.

I guess she is interested in him.

“Oh, bullshit! It’s been years, and I have way more things to worry about than some college fling.”

“Fling? You guys dated for two years, and he is the only guy you’ve ever been with.” Her eyes widen at my dismissal.

She knows the truth to some extent. After everything that has happened these past two months, those two years sure feel inconsequential to me.

My relationship never had the same kind of pull and passion that Vincent and I share. This agonising bond, which is unbreakable, pulls us back to each other every time. Memories of Vincent and me in the manor fill my brain, and I squirm, trying not to let it get the best of me.

“He’s not the only one,” I blurt the correction before I can think about it.

Her mouth slacks in shock. “But earlier, you said you hadn’t had a boyfriend since college. And we both know Charlie was your only boyfriend.”

“It’s complicated,” I sigh. “I came here to have some fun and specifically forget about how complicated my life got in the meantime.”

“See? Another reason to go and have fun!” she insists.

“I seriously am tired, Rach.”

“Oh, come on. You’re going back to the dreadful manor and will drown in work once again. Who knows when I’ll see you again? When will we have another opportunity to have some fun? We’re not getting any younger.”

She’s right.

And that’s why, against my better judgment, I weakly nod in agreement.

“Yes!” she squeals. “We’re going to have so much fun!”

If only I could forget him for five minutes and have fun properly…

The bar entrance stares back at me like a monster opening its giant mouth to swallow me whole. And that’s exactly how I feel as Rachel and I step inside, passing through the security outside.

It’s dark and chaotic inside. People stumble into each other, the place reeks of alcohol, and if you look close enough in the hidden booths at the corners, people are smoking and sniffing.Drugs.And to think most of the people here show their prestige and healthy and wealthy lives on social media.

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