Page 78 of Hawthorne

It’s a new and addicting feeling. Uncharted territory, but too sweet to refuse.

“Can I ask you a question?” Her voice is low and sweet, like music to my ears.

“You don’t have to ask for permission,” I whisper in her ear before kissing her cheek.

So far, she hasn’t stopped blushing. That alone is enough to rearrange quite a few organs inside myself, especially the heart and stomach—the first victims of her charm.

Her sweet innocence paired with the white sundress, showing more of her fair skin than usual, is also off-putting. Who would have thought that such a heavenly woman would live in such a sinful body.

Reign it in, Vincent; that’s not what this is about.

“How come you chose this place to spend the day?” Her voice is soft and tentative, trying—and failing—to hide the curiosity that’s burning inside.

“My father brought me here a few times whenever we visited,” I reminisce with a smile, looking over the river. “Besides those moments he’d let me play with you, this was the only other situation where he’d allow me to be a child. This time with him was like regular father-son time.”

“I didn’t know about that; I barely even left the manor and the orchard until I took over my mum’s job,” she comments.

“Do you miss her?” I can’t help but ask.

I do miss my father a lot. Even though he was the duke, out of the two parents, he was always the loving one. Weird that my mother was the exigent one when he was the one that carried the weight of the title.

Or maybe it was because he had been through the same thing that made him less strict with me.

The silence stretches, and it makes me focus back on her. She’s as pensive as I was just a second ago, but her face is tense, and her eyes are glassy.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to...”

“It’s okay,” she says through a shaky breath. “I do miss her a lot. And you?”

“Every single day.” I feel a sad, strained smile on my face as I remember more of him. “We played football together once. I was so happy I shrieked like a girl that day.”

We both laugh at my admittance.

“You know, we ride horses and play Polo and other suitable sports but not football. And I have loved it ever since I was a kid so I made it my mission to play it for as long as we could. I wore him down that afternoon. By the time he sat his bum on the grass and took a good look at me, he gasped at my dishevelled and dirty appearance. My mother gave me the biggest scolding of my life, but not even that made my happiness waver. I think I wore the hugest smile for at least a week back then.”

“He was a good father then, to be brave enough to go against your mother like that,” she muses.

I nod with a light chuckle because it’s true.

They never fought in front of us, but I remember often how their interaction was strained whenever we were present. It used to make me feel guilty because most of their fights were over me and what they thought was best for Edgar and me. I understand better now because I think that when my time comes to be a father...I will do the same as he did.

“Was it hard?”

“What?” I ask, not getting what she’s trying to understand.

“Growing up with all those expectations on you, with all that pressure about who you’re supposed to be..”

“Oh, yes,” I admit. “When I was around seven or eight and started to realise the severity of my life, I cried about it more times than I can care to admit. I envied Edgar the most. He’d get to go and play outside when he was done while I’d have to stay inside with all of the extra shit I had to learn.”

“Then, if it weren’t for those stolen moments your dad gave you...”

“My childhood would have sucked.”

“That’s awful.”

“It is what it is. I accepted my faith and responsibilities long ago; there’s no point in mulling over it. I still envy my brother, though. His worst-case scenario is to be a duke while I am the king. But even then, my mother will be so obsessed with me that she’ll probably let him marry whoever he wants,” I sigh.

IwishI could make that decision by myself.

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