Page 59 of Hawthorne

Vincent Hawthorne has been infatuated and lusted over quite a few women in the past. He’s always been possessive about his women,but nothing like this.

I never felt like fully committing to a woman or struggling with the immensity of my feelings for someone. Not like I do with Camilla.

It can’t be love.Can it?

Not like I would know since I’ve never been in love before…Could I ever be?

Knowing that loving someone will only bring me problems has constantly kept me emotionally away from there. But fuck, this woman is turning my brain to mush.

There’s no in-between with Camilla.

I’m either burning for her, anxious to get lost in all the wild feelings that consume me whenever she’s near, or I feel guilty for dragging her to this. And my inconsistency mirrors her own…

One day, I’m irresistible, and it’s visible in her eyes how much she wants me—desires me. Other days, she avoids me like I’m the plague. As if I would burn her alive if I got too close.

Maybe I am the boogeyman.

She was right, though. I let my temper get the best of me and went too far. Camilla got hurt due to my recklessness, and realising that was what forced me to take my bad temper down a peg.

All I wanted afterwards was to apologise and show her how much she’s not just a distraction or a toy. If she was, she wouldn’t be on my mind twenty-four-seven. I wouldn’t be yearning for her every second of my days, eagerly wanting to get my days done with so I could either get a glimpse of her or a taste.

I miss her. We see each other every day at least once or twice, but we rarely talk. Just essential matters connected to the maintenance of the manor, and it fucking guts me.

When she talks, all I can look at is her plump lips, and all I can think about is how they feel pressed against mine. When her eyes finally lock with mine, even if just for a few seconds, all I can remember is the look of ecstasy when I make her climax.

I need to make things right.

There’s a soft knock on my door, and my head snaps up immediately.Is it her?

“Come in,” I answer right away, trying not to seem too eager.

“Your Grace?” Camilla’s soft voice is like a melody to my ears.

Not even allowing myself a quick moment to enjoy her voice, I rapidly straighten my back and quickly organise my desk while she slowly opens the door.

“You have visitors downstairs. They have come to see you.”

“Visitors?” I ask, confused. “I am not expecting anyone today. Who is it?”

Her posture is stiff, and her hands are gripping each other tightly in front of her. It’s only when her eyes are cast down that she answers weakly, “Your family.”

As she says the two words, announcing who it is, that’s when I notice Camilla’s stance and face. Something’s off about her, but with them herenow,it’s not like I can do anything about it.

Frowning, I look at the date on my phone screen. It’s not visiting day…

But upon looking at my phone, I see my brother’s unseen text…Fuck.

Edgar

Mum’s on route to you, good luck bruv

I sigh. This is the last thing I need today.

Can’t I have one full week off?

Growing up, getting out of the family house and getting a place to live on my own has been such a life changer. I will never go back. I’ve come to realise that this was a need. A dream.

That’s why I jumped at the opportunity to come here when my aunt’s conditions required so. The manor is also much more comfortable and well-decorated than the one I grew up in.

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