Once I finally step inside my bedroom for good, locking the door, I sigh in relief.
It only lasts a few moments, though. As I catch sight of the letter the duke gave me earlier, my heart squeezes tight inside my chest.
“It’s in moments like these that I wish I was just a little innocent dog, just like you,” I tell an unpreoccupied Primrose as she runs to her water bowl. “The drama of choosing whether to eat or sleep seems much easier than the ones I am currently facing.”
She doesn’t care for my words as she quickly quenches her thirst from running around in the orchard. In contrast to her relaxed life, I’m on edge as I pick up and look at the untouched letter. The paper is smooth on my hands, without a wrinkle orbend at the corners. Her family crest marks the melted golden wax that seals it shut.
No one has read it yet.
Of course, that’s something the duke would never do.
What did Aunt Lizzie have to tell me? What did she want to leave as her last words instead of the intense goodbye we said to each other?
I don’t think I am ready to read it.
“Not yet,” I mumble, opening the nightstand’s first drawer and tucking it inside. “Soon. Hopefully.”
Undressing from my working clothes, I quickly put on my pyjamas and lay on the bed, cosy under the covers that envelop me softly, reminding me of cotton. It’s warm and comfortable, even if sleep evades me, making me toss and turn for hours on end.
Thankfully, the day has been full.
Busy enough that I have been able to avoid himagain.All good reasons. At least, from my perspective.
But that talk…We need to have it very soon. The duke needs to know I can’t go through with it.
Dinner time has just finished, and all the other workers are wrapping up their tasks to leave. In a little while, no one will be around, and I’ll be able to go to his office and finally tell him I changed my mind.
“Camilla,” Louise calls from the back door. She’s no longer dressed in her working uniform, but her hair is still tight in a bun on the back of her head. “The duke was heading off to his office and told me to summon you there before leaving.”
“I’ll be right there. Thank you,” I tell her cooly before scurrying off to my bedroom.
Picking up my phone, I notice an unknown number has left five calls and three texts. Opening them up, I realise the duke has found my phone number and tried to contact me.
Good thing I don’t keep it around when I am working.
Looking at the screen, I read and reread the texts.
Unknown number
This is Vincent. Meet me at my office whenever you can.
It’s been three hours, Camilla.
My. Office.
The last one was just short of ten minutes ago.
Oh, boy. Laying down on my bed, I spend a few minutes gaining some courage and hoping everyone has already finished up everything by the time I come out.
“I can do this,” I tell myself in a ridiculous pep talk.
Taking a deep breath, I look over to the watch, noticing I’ve been here for almost half an hour, and head out, navigating the corridors that lead me to the main hall where I can head to the staircase.
There are secondary accesses to the noble floor, the ones used by the staff daily when working. But doing it at night, after working hours, could be considered suspicious if I were to be seen.
It’s enough that we’ve already kissed, especially with me being his employee.
“Oh god, this is so wrong,” I mumble as I reach the great hall.