Page 87 of Back to Willow

“Just shut up, Willow,” I snap, annoyed.

I get her.I do.

She’s probably afraid that if he ends up not being mine, I’ll want out, but…if that happens, would I love him less? Would I want a way out?The answer isno.

Because even if he isn’t mine, he is hers. And that would be enough for me to love him.

“I won’t change my mind. I want this.”

“I–can you let me think about it first?”

“Yeah, sure,” I answer. “I–” I stop myself, not knowing where to go from here.

All this time I’ve held onto the anger that everything was her fault, but it wasn’t. Sure, she could have told me, and I would have been by her side every step of the way, but I understand where she was coming from.

“You need to go. Jake will be back with Dylan any minute now,” she informs me, looking at her phone to check the time. “I need time to explain to him what happened yesterday and who you are.” Her typical dark brown eyes are closer to a shiny golden shadow now from her crying.

I missed her eyes. I missed her so much.

Knowing all of this is heartbreaking and it makes me insanely mad. If there is someone who never deserved this kind of pain, it’s Willow.

“Yeah, sure,” I agree. “Just text or call me so we can talk it out and plan how we’ll do it. That is if you want this…” With a last nod, I stand up after swiping one last stray tear that was on her cheek.

I help her up, too, before we slowly walk to the front door, side by side. There, she opens it so we can step outside.

Unlike the past few days, today is cloudy with a crisp gush of air flowing around. It’s not enough to make me cold, but I notice how Willow hugs herself. We stand there for a bit, facing each other in silence.

It’s weird to be here, looking at her with so much respect and worry when just half an hour ago, I’d easily have said I hated her.

“I truly am sorry.” She finally speaks. “For the pain I caused you. It’s no excuse, but I was lost. Ι felt abandoned and didn’t know which was the right choice. In the end, I thought: what is best for my kid? And the only thing that I kept replaying in my mind was how I didn’t want him to know he was the result of rape.” Her eyes drop down, just like before.

We’ve been tiptoeing around this word, but now, she finally said it. It’s real. Willow—my Willow—was raped by some miserable motherfucker.

It pains me, and impulsive Liam takes over, hugging her immediately. Knowing that she went through all of this, alone, and that I failed to protect her creates a whole different breed of anger inside of me. It feels like it’s my fault that she was attacked.

This time though, she hugs me back right away, easing a little of that weight off my chest. I give her a peck on the top of her head before burying my head in her hair.

“Don’t apologise,” I mutter. “I understand now.”

My nostrils finally get their fill with her scent. Last night, it wasn’t enough, after so many years apart. Wildflowers. Who would have said they smell so good?

It feels like home.

“I was so unfair,” I admit. “The pain and the grudge were consuming me. Things were hard at home back then, too. You leaving felt like the last nail in the coffin. The ultimate betrayal. But fuck, if I had been there that night, I—” I take a deep breath. “It wouldn’t have happened.”

“There’s no point in crying over spilt milk. All of thosewhat ifsmean nothing because we can’t change them. We can only work to make better decisions from now on.”

I squeeze her closer to me. She’s right. We can only make the best out of the present and work towards a good future. With her back in my arms, it finally feels like a possibility again.

“Look at you all grown up.” I chuckle, trying to lighten the mood.

“Right, Dr Davis. You’re one to talk.”

The stark contrast between her sweet voice and the sarcastic comment force a smile out of me. It’s the oddest combination, but I love it.

“Well, not yet,” I admit. “There’s five more months of internship before my admission exam. After that, I’ll have to choose a speciality and study for a couple more years.”

“You have always been an overachiever.” She beams a proud smile. “I have no doubt you’ll ace all of that and rule that hospital in no time.”

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