Page 83 of Back to Willow

“Will you–”

We cut each other off by speaking at the same time.

“You first.” Liam’s voice is even, confirming he’s keeping it together today.

“I just need you to let me talk at my own pace, without interruptions. Please, be a little patient with me,” I beg.

“I–” he stops mid-sentence to sigh before running one hand through his messy dark blond locks. “Go on then…”

Lying back on the couch, he crosses his arms over his chest.

“I never had mononucleosis, I—”

“No shit!” he cuts me off, and I can’t help but glare.He didn’t even last one minute. “I’m sorry. Please, continue.”

“I’ll get to it, but first, I need you to understand that when I found out I was pregnant, I went to my parents. They were the ones who were supposed to help me, guide me. Protect me, even. Instead, they gave me an ultimatum. Either I terminated the pregnancy or I was out.”

“But—”

“Liam,” I plead, and he clamps his mouth shut. “Of course, I refused. I wasn’t allowed to take anything with me, not even clothes or a phone. I’ve never seen them again, and they have never called me since. The only thing I had was the money Jake lent me so I could get to my grandmother’s house. She took me in and helped me as much as she could. I was sixteen, pregnant, confused, scared, and alone. I know I should have told you, but I didn’t knowhow.”

How does one say to her boyfriend,I’m pregnant and it’s not yours?

“But that doesn’t mean I–” Raising my hand, I cut him off.

“How could a teenager, who had just turned to her parents for help, only for them to get rid of her, think someone else would even want to help? I am a mothernow. There is nothing in this world that could have made me turn my back on my son. But they did. If my own blood doesn’t care for me, how could others? In my sixteen-year-old brain, I had no one.”

“That’s where you’re wrong, Willow,” he tries to reason.

“I can’t expect you to understand. But my mental health was really bad, and I did what I thought was best for everyone. Even if, by now, I realised it might not have been.”

“I would have done anything you asked me,” he mutters, looking straight into my eyes, piercing my soul. If there is someone who can shake me to the core, it’s Liam Davis.

Would he have?

“How would that be fair to you?” I counter. “It wasn’t your responsibility in the first place! I couldn’t have asked that of you.” I pause for a few seconds to prevent my eyes from getting blurry. “I could never.”

“What do you mean not my responsibility? Do you think I’d abandon my girlfriend and my son?” he asks offended.

In my mind, back then, all I could think was that it wasn’t fair to make him raise a baby that wasn’t his. How do I explain that? How am I going to tell him that I was…

Instead, I settle with, “This kind of burden was never yours to carry, anyway.”

“What does that even mean? Stop with the charades. All of this doesn’t explain anything, Willow.” Maybe it happens unconsciously, but we’re much closer than we were when we started talking.

It always happens with us. This invisible force keeps bringing us closer together, even when there’s a huge rift keeping us apart.

“What could possibly explain shutting me out for four weeks? What could warrant you to hide your pregnancy from me and leave without even giving me an explanation?”

“Let me talk,” I snap, shutting him up. “I will get there.Eventually.”

“Tell me, then.” He motions his hand, trying to get me to talk. “What could legitimise the fact that you took a kid from his father?”

“I did what I had to do. You need to understand this.”

“What the fuck does that even mean?”

“It means that in the midst of a really fucked-up situation, I did the best I could. Even if it hurt all of us. It also hurt me. I never wanted to leave in the first place!”

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