Page 80 of Back to Willow

“I’m sorry, though,” he apologises. “You reminded me of someone I hate, at first sight, and I couldn’t help myself.”

“Oh.”

“Nothing particular against you. It’s just…looking at you made all of that pain resurface and I didn’t know how to deal.”

His words make me look down at my hands in awkwardness. I mean, I’m relieved he’s giving me an explanation for his erratic behaviour, but I didn’t think it’d be this uncomfortable.

“But as I got to know you more, I understood that despite the physical resemblances, you aren’t the same person, and the way I was treating you was unfair. Sorry about that.”

“What did that woman do to you?” I can’t help but ask. When his shoulders tense, I quickly add, “You don’t need to tell me.”

Instead—and surprising me completely— he smiles. It’s contained and sad but honest.

“Talking about it might help so, why not?” With a shrug, he starts, “My sister, Alexa, who was two years younger than me, was my best friend. We were so close and still, she never felt comfortable telling me everything—something I deeply regret not having guessed because the signs were all there…”

Were?

“We had a strict upbringing with our parents being the conservative kind of Catholics. In a way, I understand why she felt like she couldn’t say. But she didn’t have to hide it from me, too. She loved women.”

That’s when his head finally turns in my direction, dark eyes meeting mine. With an assured nod, I urge him to keep going, letting him know I’m listening.

“With time, I started to see within the cracks of the front she put up to our parents. All the lies were taking a toll on her, and no matter how much I tried to let her know I was there, how I’d support her no matter what, she never gave in.”

“She must have felt lonely, even if in reality, she wasn’t alone,” I comment.

“She ended up alone soon enough. I had to leave for college, and that’s when our parents found out. They shunned her completely.”

“I know the feeling,” I admit. “My parents shunned me, too, when they learned of my teenage pregnancy.”

“I’m sorry. No one should go through that.”

“This isn’t about me, though. What happened next?”

His soft gaze tells me otherwise, but he holds back, knowing full well I’m not ready to talk yet.

“I was fuming. I took her in to live with me. They shunned me, too, but by then, I was close to graduating and already had a part-time job so it allowed me to pay for most of the bills. Alexa found a job as well, and even though she was still extremely depressed, little by little, we got the hang of it, and she was better. Happier.”

“That’s so nice,” I say. “You both deserved it.”

“But short-lived,” he grumbles with his fists curled tight on top of his thighs, showing how hard this is for him.

“Soon enough, she found a girlfriend, and I let her move in with us. I did everything to keep my sister happy, even if I didn’t really like the girl.” A short pause makes me look at him. This time around, he’s looking down at his hands, picking at his nails, and looking almost embarrassed. “My sister was a part-time bartender while studying in college, so there were many nights when she was out working. Jennifer, her girlfriend, often stayed in and made breakfast. It didn’t matter I kept to myself in my bedroom-slash-office, at meal times, we’d eat and spend some time together until it was time for Alexa to go to work. That night, I immediately got tired after dinner, making it only to the couch. I didn’t even notice when she left for work.”

“Isn’t that normal?” I question. “You must have been tired after work.”

“I’m a light sleeper.” He smiles darkly. “I would have heard the front door, and I didn’t. Not when she left and especially not when she came back. I only woke up with her screams. By then, it was too late.”

Anxiety creeps in.What happened?Did she relapse and try to…did the girlfriend do something to her?Oh god.

“What do you mean?”

“Both Jennifer and I were fully naked on the couch.” He chokes on the last words, his eyes shining with unshed tears. “I was so out of it I couldn’t understand at first. Only then did I notice that they were arguing, and Jennifer was telling her all of this crap about how we secretly fell in love and couldn’t hold it in anymore.”

“Oh my god, thebitch,” I blurt, covering my mouth right after.

Arthur chuckles. “Why is it weird to hear you curse?”

“Because I rarely do.” I smile awkwardly. “Sorry.”

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