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“I applaud you,” Nina offers, catching my attention. “To do that…all on your own. It’s really brave.”

Brave is the last word I’d use to describe myself. If it weren’t for my brother and grandmother, I don’t know where Dylan and I would be right now. I probably would have given in to the pressure my parents put on me to get an abortion.

“Thank you,” I answer. However, her words trigger a reaction, and I add, “But I’m not alone.”

With an understanding smile, she nods before saying her goodbyes and leaving me to my thoughts.

After everything that has happened, Dylan became the blessing I needed at a time when I hit my lowest point. A beacon of light where all that existed around me was darkness.

And maybe doing all of this at the same time is not ideal, but sometimes we just have to keep moving forward. People usually say that if life throws you lemons, make lemonade, and that’s exactly what I’m doing.

But for now, it’s one day at a time.

TWO

Willow

“Nana,you’reupalready?”I ask over the phone after parking close to the college.

“Yes, dear, but you should have woken me up before leaving,” she scolds.

I can’t help but chuckle at her antics. Nana is one strong-minded and resilient woman.

“Nonsense,” I answer. “You were tired from that long walk in the park yesterday. I wanted to let you rest.”

“Well, thank you, but next time, wake me up so I can help you.”

Stubborn, too.

“Fine, fine!” A smile finds its way to my lips. “Classes are about to start. I just wanted to check in on you. Don’t worry because I’ll finish up in time to pick Dylan up and help you with dinner before work. Is that alright with you?”

I already found a job here, too, as a waitress in one of the diners downtown. They are flexible with schedules since they are used to hiring students. It couldn’t have worked better because it’s close to where I have my classes.

“Sure, dear. I’ll keep myself busy and do some groceries while you’re in school. Break a leg, little bird. You’ll do great!”

“Thank you, Nana. Love you,” I say goodbye to her, smiling to myself.

She really is the best.

Leaving the car parked, I walk up to the huge beige building where I’ll have most of my classes. We’re only now reaching mid-September, and it’s still warm outside. The sky is clear, and the sun’s light shines bright on the dark-granite stone constructions, making the city look lighter than usual.

Porto is a beautiful place but a little melancholic. On a cloudy day, the darker aspect of the buildings quickly transfers to people’s moods. Nostalgia is the one that gets to me the most.Saudadeof a time when everything was simpler.

Because back then, that was exactly what I was. Happy, carefree, and loved. A time when no worries existed. Before I was forced to grow up. I miss those times—deeply—and that’s what bringsSaudadeto my mind. It’s that deep void that your heart carries when someone or something is missing, and I’ll forever carry that.

It’d be a lie to say I’m not nervous to start college, especially since I’m not the same age as most freshmen here. It may not be too visible physically, but there is a calmness I’ve developed that the bulk of eighteen-year-olds hasn’t yet.

Inside, a lot of them stride excitedly through the corridors, talking animatedly. The adrenaline of the first day of school pumping through their veins. Whereas, to me, there’s just a silent eagerness to be here.

That sense of achievement has finally come. Back then, I might have been as happy and anxious, walking around in more youthful clothing, too, and I wouldn’t be here alone either. But that never happened…

Oh god, how can I still miss him after all of these years?

The building is packed with unfamiliar faces that pay little to no attention to me, and I sigh in relief at that. Turns out college is nothing like high school, and I am grateful for that. I was never a popular girl, but I was best friends with the golden boy. I was able to see the consequences that attention brings without being at the centre of it.

I spent my days in his shadow, being tolerated and acknowledged just because of him, even though I didn’t mind it—as long as he kept holding my hand through everything, I wouldn’t mind. Being in love with him was the best thing in my life after Dylan.

Since I’ve already visited the college grounds before, I’ve got all the documents and information needed. A member of the Student Council, a girl graduating this year, has already shown me around and answered all my questions and addressed my doubts.

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