Page 31 of Back to Willow

Sooner or later, I might have to spill the beans, especially if I don’t want her to think I’m going to steal her potential boyfriend.

My best friend. My first and only love.

The mere thought of them together makes me feel sick…Who would have thought that the only friend I’ve made so far in college would be falling in love with the man I first fell in love with?

“I’m sorry,” I sigh, rubbing my face. “I just need a few more minutes to put myself back together, and I’ll go back to work.”

“Nonsense,” my boss exclaims. “You’re in no condition to go back to work tonight. Once you’re ready, you can go home and have some rest.” Her cold hand pats my back before she straightens. “It’s calm tonight anyway; we’ll manage just fine.”

“But—”

“Not up for discussion! Will you keep her company until she’s fit to leave?” she asks Johanna.

“Yes, of course.” I hear her mutter.

Shilah exits the room, leaving Johanna and me alone in an awkward silence. A few minutes pass as I get rid of the last ragged breaths and stray tears. When I finally feel stable enough to face the rest of the world, I remember him.

Is he still waiting for me? Does he want to finish the conversation I owe him? Oh god...

“Is he—”

“He’s gone,” she cuts me off curtly, without even being able to look at me.

“I’m sorry.” I sigh. “I ruined your date.”

“Don’t be. It’s not your fault!” She finally smiles, but it’s weak. “Maybe things happen for a reason. You clearly have an unresolved past. Maybe you finally have the opportunity to hash it all out and move on.”

This girl makes me jealous of her, and not because she was just on a date with Liam—okay, maybe that, too—but because of her personality. The way she sees the world. She can still see the positive whereas I can only see the negative.

At this moment, it feels like the entire world is against me. But I’ve had enough of self-commiseration; it’s time to put on my grown-up pants and suck it up. That’s why, instead of letting myself fall back into that black hole or staying in here feeling sorry for myself, I try to smile back at her.

We stay in silence for a couple more minutes until Jo taps my knee, a clear message that she’s had enough of being here with me. With an understanding nod, I take off the apron and grab my belongings from the locker before following her out to the parking lot.

The drive isn’t long since the rush hour has long ended by now. In a matter of fifteen minutes, I am home, walking up to Dylan’s room.

Instead of climbing up into my bed in my room, I manage to fit into his, cuddling him to my chest. He doesn’t even stir as I accommodate the both of us in his tiny bed.

There’s no way I’ll be sleeping alone tonight. I need the comfort and warmth of the only good thing that life has given me. The only light created from the darkest period of my life.

Thankfully, his presence gives me a dreamless night, with his body close to my heart, and his touch on my skin, slowly healing the deep wounds that keep ripping at my heart. Tearing it open over and over again.

TEN

Willow

Thispastweekhasbeen rough.

Sleep has been evading me, and schoolwork has been growing. With my heart a wreck and Professor Adell breathing down my neck, I don’t know which way to turn anymore. The tiredness in my body and mind has been preventing me from focusing on what I should be—my school and work, besides Dylan, of course.

The only thing that has kept me from going completely crazy is that Johanna hasn’t touched the L subject anymore. I can see the curiosity in her eyes every time she looks at me, the jerking moves or the opening of her mouth before she thinks better of it and stops herself. I know that sooner or later, she’ll give in to temptation. I’m just grateful she is giving me enough time to…well, prepare myself.

Liam has always been on my mind, but now that I know how close he is, it’s been impossible to not have all my thoughts consumed by him, the memory of him. Of course, it leads me to think about them together, if they’re still getting to know each other, and to what point their relationship has developed. It hurts too much, realising he has moved on. Although it bothers me, I don’t have that right. I lost all claims or rights when I decided to abandon him.

Even if it was myonlyoption at the time.

Why did he have to show up?I had made my peace that he was out of reach a long time ago and that anuswould never be in the picture again. But seeing him in the flesh, even more handsome than before, has moved something inside of me.

Liam is older. Long gone are the boyish features he had, even if he is still as handsome as he used to be. His bright blue eyes, even though they barely changed, are now filled with a weight he never had before. There’s a maturity to the little lines etching onto his face that weren’t there the last time I saw him. He is bigger, most likely taller and even though he has a different stance from the lively and naïve boy he was, he seems just as fiery and stubborn as he used to be.

---