Page 115 of Back to Willow

“Get out,” I ask quietly.

“I was jealous,” he admits. “Fuck, baby. I’m so sorry.”

The words come out a little too late. I’m inside that cycle again, and nothing he can say will make me feel better about myself right now.

“Leave.”

“Lo,” he calls, coming closer. I take a step back again. “Please,” he begs.

“Leave me alone.” His body sags, dejected.

I don’t care. I don’t have the emotional or the physical energy for anything else. I feel defeated. All my brain keeps asking for is the fluffiness of my warm pyjamas and for my body to slide inside the bed and black out until tomorrow.

With a resigned sigh, he finally seems to understand that this is not getting solved. At least, not today. With an ashamed lowering of his eyes, he finally nods.

“For what it’s worth,” he tells me, while already gripping the door knob. “Iamfucking sorry.”

Then he turns around, slowly walking down the porch. I slam the door shut behind him before I crumble to the ground in an ugly wail.

This is too much to handle.

THIRTY-SIX

Liam

“Mummy’snotcomingwithus?” Dylan asks as I place the car seat in the back of my car.

He’s on my side, intently watching me as I struggle to put this stupid thing in correctly. Willow finally agreed to let me take him for a day without any kind of supervision.

And while it stings that I had to hound her for it for almost two weeks, I understand that it is a lot to adapt to. She’s been on her own for so long, and now, I just parachute myself into their lives, demanding changes in their routine.

A person with two brain cells knows that’s not how it works. Thus, I should just be thankful for this leap of faith.

It doesn’t help that I fucked up and she’s barely talking to me. Those words have been living in my brain rent-free, even though I regretted them as soon as they flew out of my mouth. I can’t change the past now. All I can do is prove myself to her.

Let’s just hope I can turn this day around already. It’s already started poorly. The initial plan was to stop at Willow’s place so she could give me the car seat to pick Dylan up. But one hour before my shift ended, an emergency came in, and Dr Shawn pointedly told me not to bother coming back if I didn’t stay for the surgery it entailed.

Apparently, I’ve not been working as many hours as I was in the beginning, and he’s disappointed. The asshole gave me five minutes to get my shit together and show up in the surgery room.

Thankfully, there is one thing that hasn’t changed about Willow after all of these years. She is not the kind to sabotage something just because she’s hurt or angry. And in full Willow fashion, she understood right away, telling me not to worry about picking Dylan up from school; she did it instead.

I’m relieved she didn’t try to raincheck because today is the day I’m taking him to enrol him in the local football team.

Everything is set, and we need to head out soon if we want to make it on time. If only the fucking car seat would secure properly.Fucking hell.

“It’s just us today, buddy,” I answer with a grunt, still struggling with the seatbelt. “It’s a boys’ day.”

How on Earth can I be sure he is securely attached? Last time, Willow walked me through it, and I got too cocky.

The joke’s on me.

Shaking the seat to make sure it’s good, it swivels too much to the side, and I frown. What the fuck am I missing?

“It goes underneath,” Dylan tuts with a bored tone.

“Huh?”

“The seatbelt. There is a thingy underneath to slide the seatbelt in. Then it should be done. At least that’s how Mummy does.”

---