Page 47 of Back to Willow

But if I had stayed…if he had known the truth…

It was too much for me, by myself. It would be too much for him, too. That I am sure of.

“Your parents didn’t even like me, do you really think they’d take in a disowned sixteen-year-old?” I ask in a shaky voice, all these memories taking a big toll on me. “I wasn’t their responsibility, nor yours. What would you have done? Found a job to help me?”

“You know damn well I would have if it was needed,” he growls before leaning in on the table, closer to me.

Too close.

A gasp leaves my lips without permission, and my body hits the back of the booth harder than I intend it to. It has been way too long since a man—other than my brother—was this close to me. Even if it is Liam.

He doesn’t relent, though, staying put and not leaning back again. It’s bittersweet because that old part of me is relishing in the proximity she never thought she’d experience again. While the current one, the broken one, is terrified.

“You know damn well I would have done everything for you back then," he whispers weakly with a broken expression.

One of his hands rises to the space between our faces. His eyes swirl with so much emotion that I can see the different shades swim around the irises as if he is having an inner battle. I am so lost in his eyes that it’s almost too late when I realise what he is about to do.

To touch me.I am not ready.

When the tips of his fingers are just about to touch my cheek, I suck in a ragged breath and turn my head away, closing my eyes and whispering, “Please, don’t.” His hand freezes mid-air, and one second later, he distances himself from me.

“Are you afraid of me?” Shock and hurt lace his voice with the way it cracks when he speaks.

At the sound of his voice, I snap my eyes open, seeing the defeated expression on his face, and I can’t deal with it. To see in front of me the extent of the damage I’ve done. How much I’ve ruined him breaks me even more, forcing a sob out of my mouth. I quickly press my hands over it before mumbling a quick, “I’m sorry.”

The next thing I do is the only thing I know to do properly.

I run away from him, without looking back. Once again.

SIXTEEN

Willow

Fiveseconds.Thatwasall it took for Shilah to understand something was wrong and to give me the night off when I called her. Without realising it, she took a huge weight off my shoulders because it was going to be a challenge to get there and endure the night.

My body and brain are overwhelmed. There are some demons which I have learned are better left dormant, and that’s the main reason I ran away from him again. I’m not ready to face mine.Not yet.

With burning lungs and jelly legs, I flop down on the first bench I set eyes on. Thank god for Nina for taking Dylan for a few hours. At this point, I need some time to calm down.

Deep and slow breaths. I’m here, by myself, with nothing but the rushed sounds of the city lulling me to peace. The wind blows, and the cars drive by, creating the perfect frame. From high up here, the river sets the city’s scenery, mixing with the street lamps that flicker on as the sun sets lower.

It’s a beautiful view. A strong contrast to the ugly ones afflicting my mind. Seeing Liam and trying—failing—to talk to him about our past has brought memories back. And not the best kind.

Wondering how he would react to everything reminds me exactly of the moment that my parents realised I was pregnant.

“You will have an abortion,” my mother stated icily.

As if it weren’t enough, but I didn’t blame them. Not when I hadn’t been able to utter a word about that night. Everyone had realised that something had happened; I was so affected I got a fever the day after…If only my parents had been as understanding as Jake was when I refused to talk.

Refusing to talk or see the police or go to the hospital had not worked in my favour. Deep down, I knew it was frustrating on their part, wanting to help me and being unable to, but it led to ugly words that made it harder than it ever could be.

The cold shoulder, the disgust…

As if I didn’t feel disgusted enough with myself.

“Mum, I will get a job. You won’t have to spend a penny on it!” I countered.

“Are you crazy? You are sixteen. If you don’t get one of your own volition, I will sign for you to have one. Don’t forget, you’re still a minor!” Her high-pitched voice reverberated through the living room, threatening to pierce my eardrums.

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