Page 11 of Back to Willow

“Wait!” His hand hastily grabs my wrist, pulling me back. “Can you bring me another water?”

I flinch at the sudden touch, shadows from the past quickly creeping in and quickening my heart. He seems to realise with the way his eyes widen. Just as quickly as he grabbed me, he lets go.

“Sorry.” He looks down, not meeting my eyes.

“Sure,” I breathe out.

Keep your distance and it’ll be okay, Willow.

The problem is, I always have. And look how that worked out for me. It brought me here, a teen mum starting college at twenty-two. The memories that this thought brings make my heartbeat spike and my breath hitch.

Heading to where Shilah is, I hand her the paper and ask for my ten-minute break. She seems to notice—or read my mind—because she doesn’t even hesitate to agree.

“Thank you,” I squeak before heading to the back room, locking myself in.

Secluded from the rest of the world, in this bare grey room, my brain reproduces the one thing I dread the most. His voice.

Come on, Lo. You’ll like it.

It’s as if time stopped all of those years ago. Sometimes, it feels like I am still there, trapped. Not only do I hear him, but I can also see and smell him. More times than I’d like to admit.

“No, no,” I whisper to myself. “Don’t remember.”

Shutting my eyes, my fingers start to massage my scalp in an attempt to relax and send the bad memories away.

Dylan. Think about Dylan. My baby boy, my treasure.

A couple of sobs escape my throat, making it difficult for me to forget. I will never forget it, not really. But by now, it wasn’t supposed to be like this. So long has passed, you’d think the pain would have eased, but it hasn’t.

It never goes away. I just need to learn how to live with it.

From the pocket in my apron, I take a napkin to blow my nose. Now unclogged, it allows me to focus on my breathing to calm down.

Breathe in. Breathe out.

I need to grow a thicker skin, once and for all.

A knock on the door startles me, and I run to unlock it.

“Everything okay, darling?” Shilah peeks through the door.

“Yeah, sorry. I am just nervous; you know, being new and all…” I give her a weak smile. “Are my ten minutes up?”

She nods and gives me a warm smile. “No need to be nervous; you’re doing wonderful.”

I thank her for her kind words before heading back to work. It’s busier, and I end up running around the diner, serving the clients and refilling the drinks every time I notice the empty cups. Half an hour goes by, and I’m glad I’m able to avoid Professor Adell.

Unfortunately, that’s as far as my good luck goes. With Shilah telling me she’s going to the restrooms, I notice him finishing up his meal. The obnoxiously loud sound of the cutlery feels on purpose, but I try my best to ignore it. Right then, his hand raises, and I take a deep breath.

Here we go.

“How was everything?” My hands twist in each other, anxiety building up again.

“Good,” he answers with a light shrug.

“Would you like some dessert?”

“I’d like the check, please.”

---