Page 1 of Back to Willow

PROLOGUE

Liam

Thebriskrushofair works as an anxiety suppressant, lowering my body temperature and solidifying my state of alert. I’d still be going downhill if I stayed inside, suffocating in that sea of dancing bodies. The crazy lights swirling around the club are gone, and the deafening music is now muffled by the back exit of the building. It was getting too loud and overwhelming, too much for me to take.

I hate nights like this when the anxiety creeps in at the most inopportune moments. For the past few years, I’ve been nothing but focused on finishing my degree and starting work as a doctor. I knew staying busy was the only way to keep going, and it has worked so far. It’s like every time I treat myself with any kind of leisure, Karma comes knocking on my door to yell, “Not tonight, bitch!”

All I know at this point is that life is miserable. While I know my coping mechanisms throughout the years haven’t always been the healthiest, I had hoped that by now, things would be better. Besides being close to finishing my master’s degree and starting residency, I often ask myself,what am I even here for?Because nothing else makes sense.

Not without her.

I must be stupid to have thought tonight would be different from all other nights, where copious amounts of alcohol helped me take my mind off…her. Today would have been our eighth anniversary, and going through it sober is torture.

“Fuck, no,” I grit to the emptiness of the dimly lit alley. “No thinking about this. She doesn’t fucking deserve it.”

It’s no fun, though. School is different. The assignments I am completing throughout the beginning of the residency are giving me little to no time to wallow in my shit—thankfully. In a way, not having time to remember the past has made me feel better. Like she isn’t the centre of the universe anymore.

But nights like these…

It’s not the same. The loud music, thumping rhythms, and sweaty bodies are not strong enough to keep her out of my mind. And it’s frustrating as hell that the few moments I have some free time to have fun, she comes crawling back all over again. Not only that, she’s a plague on my brain, body, heart, and soul.

Fuck, it still hurts as much as that damn day. When she left with no word or explanation. Not even a fucking goodbye.

Sometimes, if I focus too hard, I can still smell her flowery scent. It used to calm my heart and rebellious soul. Her soft eyes are engraved in my mind, tearing at the pain even more. They used to be so full of love and affection, and it filled me up so much. Butnow?It just eats me alive.

Every now and then, when I wake up groggy from exhaustion or hangovers, I can still feel her silky chocolate waves against my face and hands from when we had fallen asleep after long study sessions. My heart still skips a beat if someone looks remotely similar to her. Even if, deep down, I know it won’t ever happen again.

She made the choice to disappear from my life without a word. I won’t be the one to search for her either.Notanymore.

All the time I wasted begging my parents for help, and all the times I chased Jacob around with the hopes of getting somewhere. A word, just a“she’s fine”or a“here, you can have her number.”But nothing.

Fuckingnothing.

The whole family closed as tight as clams and shut me out, aiding her in the pain she caused. She not only broke my heart, she also had her family step on it until it withered away to ashes.

“Why are you here alone with such a cool party raging inside?” The sultry feminine voice that sounds behind me makes me turn around.

The first word that comes to mind:hot. Golden-tanned skin and subtly muscled legs and arms. She’s wearing a short sparkling-silver dress, giving me a decent view of her full cleavage. Her dark hair is locked behind her head in an updo, showing off her slender shoulders and long neck.

With hooded hazel eyes and plump lips, the girl is gorgeous. Not the sweet and gentle kind of beautiful she was. But stillveryattractive.

“Just needed a breather,” I tell her, keeping my armour intact.

I’ve given up on telling anybody what’s going on inside me. People never understand, especially because most have never found a love like this—one that’s strong and all-consuming.

It’s always the same old talk of “time heals everything” and the most common “you’ll get through it.”It’s all a fucking lie.After all of these years, I haven’t gotten over it—especially not over her. There hasn’t been anyone who caught my attention or made me forget her for more than a few crazy hours of hot sex.

She broke me for everyone else, and now I’m doomed to carry this pain all by myself. She’s out there somewhere—possibly having found another man to keep her happy, and she’ll have forgotten all about me.

“It’s a shame that such a handsome guy is out here, all alone…”

She trails off with a tilt of her head and arms crossed over her chest, pushing those tempting breasts up and making them pop. She’s beautiful, and even though I know she doesn’t stand a chance in the long run, maybe I could try and have some fun—get my mind off ofher.

With a new goal set for tonight, I flash her one of my best dazzling smiles. I was never cocky about my looks, but over the years, I’ve noticed the effect I have on women. And with how misguided I have been ever sincesheleft, I admit I’ve often used it to my advantage.

There’s no misleading here, though. I’ve been direct with every woman I’ve been with, making it clear about what I want, and there has never been a problem with it.

“Why don’t you keep me company, then?” I beckon her to me.

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